Yesterday I was speaking to a friend who is “looking for a
ladka” for her cousin. My friend is educated, highly progressive & great
fun! The cousin in question is extremely attractive, very bright, Studied
abroad, independent & a fashionista. I asked why she would not look for
someone herself (trust me to put my foot in my mouth) and there was a long
silence, followed by a shocked, “what?”. I backed off but it got me thinking.
Why do most Indians (some of us are different) give up on
falling in love even before we begin? We study, work hard and look after our
families. We know that someday we have to get married, have kids & be a
large happy family. But where does that important milestone of falling in love
go?
How often do we hear the words, “my parents are looking for
someone” or “I am looking for someone for my brother/sister”? Even on
matrimonial platforms, there are often parents or siblings who are logging in
and communicating with prospective brides & grooms. Why are most of us
confident that our parents will eventually find someone for us to marry?
It’s almost like it’s not part of the DNA of a large part of
our population. Almost like we don’t really expect to be able to find someone
for ourselves. And we often don’t expect to really fall in love and end up
giving up on the butterflies in the stomach, the breathlessness, the waiting to
meet & the goofy smile that connecting with someone can bring.
It is so ingrained in us that a lot of us don’t really know
how to engage with the opposite gender (I know that it doesn’t apply to
everyone). But social interactions, even the ones that lead to the happily ever
after are a matter of practice. The more we connect, the more we polish
ourselves, become more confident and sure of what we want. So interact we must!
So during the lock down, explore online spaces where you can meet singles ( I would naturally recommend Footloose No More, but go ahead and check out everything). Connect & take that step.
And as always, be safe!
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