Wednesday, 21 September 2011

Blame it on the girls!

Yes! Blame it on the girls! That's what men do. At least the ones I know (and I know a lot of them). "She's too fussy", "she's high maintainance", "she thinks she's a godess", "she took too long", "she broke my heart", "she went out with me", "she didn't", "she's a b*&%h", and my favourite, "she said she wanted to go out with me. She's desperate".

Come on guys! So far I've been writing to the women! This one is for you. Help us out here because we don't know what to do.

If we are sexy, we're easy! If we're normal, we're plain. If we chat, we talk too much and if we don't we are putting the pressure of conversation on you. What do you expect from us? We've all heard the story of mother sister friend whore rubbish. Fact is, we can't do it. And neither can you! If we expected you to fill all the boxes we cooked up, you'd never match up to our dream boys! So stop expecting us to be dream girls.

Here's how we feel (and this is not my point of view alone)...

We have been brought up to be lady like, aka, wait to be approached. But since we consider ourselves liberated, we make the effort and make our interest in you known. But you'll run either way. We'll be too fast or too slow. If nothing happens in the first date, then we are boring, if it does, we are sluts. If we don't call you, we are acting cool and if we do, it's because we are trying to get our claws into you.

Fact is, we are flattered when you ask us out, message us and call us. But when you decide it's ok to hug us and generally cop a feel, we are not comfortable! We understand that you'd like to be thought of as cool and that you will build yourself up for us. That's delightful. And we accept that! But we can figure out a blatant lie. And honestly, there's nothing worse than a drunk octopus, lying away and using colourful language. Four letter words are not cool or witty! They are unattractive. And that goes for the women too.

You go out with us a few times, but see another prospect and you are off to check out the possibility. How can we hope to have you stay for a lifetime if you didn't stay back for a 3rd date? Obviously we feel you don't really want to be anything but buddies.

And the worst - you ask us out and spend all the time telling us how horrid your ex girl friend or ex wife is! If that's the conversation you want, please go out with the boys, get drunk and discuss it. But spare us these details. Would you enjoy an evening listening to us obsessing about our exes?

All we want are normal men who care for us. You don't need to be Adonis for it! Just be yourself please. It will either work out or it won't, but at least we'll both smile at the memory. Like you are taking cues from our behaviour, we are taking cues from yours. Like it or not, we are both judging each other.

So, like you are not the perfect man, we are not Madonna rolled into Mrtha Stewart, rolled into the scarlet woman! We are normal girls so treat us accordingly :)

Meanwhile, go ahead and approach us. We like it!


  1. Both, Boys/gals... till we nag/bitch/complaint about each other...Love will not bloom, be it friendship or relationship! Its simple thing, God designed boys and girls nature in a certain way. So lets both not criticize, rather.. compliment each other! Surely girls must be approached, and guys chase them:) But well, time change and the dynamics of understanding of relations, be it any relation. Its natural for both when any one shows interest in other, the ego hits above 7th sky, though, may be unconsciously. If it is does not interest the other, have it conveyed without delay, but ensure, in such a way that, though rejected the person even likes you more, because the way you conveyed it. Remember always to value person who loves you, wants to be with you. And girls!! .. when you too, even with reluctance hug the guy, he feels OK and goes on...And guys!! girls are more intuitive, if it does not happen naturally, she will figure it out. In my view,.. VOICE if you do not like...and also when you like! Tell the guy that he is not sober to talk at that moment,let him feel in future he is more cautious, show reluctance in your body language that you DONT wanna hug!! Judgements do not work in life but, nice confrontations does. Whether you desire to approach or want to reject someone, express it nicely and decently, then do not think what he/she will think. When you`ll go out, let each one open and unmask oneself, communicate both unpleasant and pleasant things..its OK, ensure that no one feels hit below the belly..... and varsha... am gonna HUG you everytime i meet you:-)

  2. Rajeev, that sums it up perfectly! You have completed what I missed out on! Thank you.

  3. See now with you, Varsha.. your perfect man.. is actually a woman!.. since the kitchen is a weird, low lit dark room where your coffee is stored!.. and thats the extent of your relationship.. What to say.. you are like this only!

  4. HAHAHA Althea! One day you will admit you like my blog and I am the relationship GURU!

  5. If we are sexy, he must be a flirt getting other women also
    If we're normal, we're boring, he didnt excite me
    If we chat, god he is not listening to me

    Women liberation YES, I am all for it but she is so liberated that she is hitting on 3 guys at the same time (see another prospect and off to check out the possibility.) Well 3rd date was with the 3 guys!

    Women use men as a transport mechanism : Get dropped to her next date and duck in the car so he does not see her getting out of the car with another man! - WOW liberated like how !!!

    Call her to check "Hey how you doin"... gosh this guy just doesnt leave me... I heard a story from a women she was so impressed that a guy was so crazy about her since college that till date he has not married but she did get married & full nine yard of life to divorce - but still true love for her is he is STILL not married ! - Sacrifice / Martyr !

    Most men are normal and capable of being loved and give love but the games & expectations are soo hight that they reach Pluto! But men are still on Earth!

  6. I agree Rohin! In fact, if you read my last 3 posts I've lectured the girls into coma! This time, I felt the need to put forward the girls point of view too. This is why it's called the war of the sexes...mars and venus...but out there is someone who is meant for us! Move on and keep strikes suddenly! Meanwhile, let's be ourselves and have fun!

  7. Varsha, a good post.. But I dont think therz anything wrong in meeting other prospects (for marriage) till we commit to one.


  8. Okay...I am terribly tempted to say a fact itching to...
    I do believe the definition of 'sexy' 'hot' 'beautiful' 'charming' is also a culprit.
    Let me quote a few instances...
    A guy asks a woman (he has met for the first or second time) for a dance. She hesitates but agrees to give it a shot. The music isn't really romantic agreed. But I have seen guys with really obsecene torso thrusts and call it a dance. I am not sure how that amounts to anything pleasing. May be I am a prude or I belong to the old school. It is okay to dance like that with someone you know intimately and who accepts it that way. For most of other single women watching you dance like that, you are already putting her off.
    The other thing I have noticed is how a number of guys play out the 'Oh, really? I don't remember that. I was way too drunk.' line. Nope. It doesn't work that way...actually, it doesn't work that way, men and women alike. Selective memory gets you is not possible to remember everything else that happened that night but evade the stuff that can result in a discussion the morning after.
    I also think men and women need to accept the fact that sometimes the conversation isn't happening. Women like to have a conversation and they will think. Get used to it. There is not such thing (in most women) as 'Relax and don't think too much.'
    If you are dating a woman and trying to figure out if you want to turn it into something more meaningful, by all means do that. If you, however, have extended it to a certain degree of intimacy, there has to be a bit of dating loyalty. You cannot presume it's okay to hug and kiss and make out with one and then go out and do the same with a few more at the same time. The perception we have about you (in the long run) isn't really a helpful one. A lot of us have been hurt and have healed or are in the process of healing from really bad relationships...a lot of those disastrous relationships have been about infidelity. You are not really helping build trust here then.
    Also, it's not always about a dinner at a high end is about spending time together...sometimes even just sharing a chai ki pyali or a vada pav...little things, shared.
    I have said enough about it earier in my posts. This one will never end...and hey, that's what adds spice to the entire thing as well...
    Have fun. Don't hurt the other person in the process. If it ain't working, say so. Don't let us find out from a third person what you have been up to. Be honest. Stand up for yourself. We all have a choice. While we are nobody to judge you, we have a choice to want to be with you or not. Don't toss us around. We are as fragile as you are, no matter how liberated we appear to be.