Monday, 4 February 2013

Deal breakers!!!

Boy met girl... Instant sparks flew... They got along like a house on fire... Met again...Felt this could be more...met again, alone this time...he told her it was love at first sight and the subsequent meetings told him it was real...she told him she was divorced but ready to give love another chance...he vanished! It's a true story!

This happens often. We meet someone we feel we connect with and then it ends abruptly over certain deal breakers (the big or small is in our heads). Reasons can be many and varied, she's divorced, he smokes, she didn't speak perfect english, he didn't dress well, he has kids, she has a dominating mother. The reasons are all real but here is my question...if we connected so well, how did that change the moment you found out about my divorce/age/kids/mother? I still am the same person! So how could it be gone with one sentence?

Is great connect on a switch? Can you really switch it off that fast? And why do we let someone's past interfere with our future?

To me, being divorced or older/ younger is not a deal breaker. If you are a good person, make me smile and keep me grounded, we are wll matched. The only deal breaker is if you are a criminal or set out to hurt and abuse people! As for that divorce, it isn't a failure on anyone's part. Sometimes it is what you do to rectify a mistake you made in the past.

Sometimes there may be things wich are dea breakers for the other person, but if something small about you breaks it up, then please accept that this person just wasn't into you and move on! Because out there is someone to whom none of this will matter...there will be no excuses...and that is when you will know that the connect is real! And the wait will be worth it!


  1. How many hugs can i give, for writing with such frankness & optimism more importantly ? ::)))

  2. Love the way you have written this one.... :-)

  3. I agree. I have seen people leave skid marks over such things. Right! Those aren't for you. The one who loves you will accept you with all the mess you are capable of and are in, no matter what. I know that I wouldn't settle for less than that.
    Kudos! Love this one! Hugs!

  4. ummm...for once, varsha, i disagree...i could fall head over heels for a serial cheat, or a suicidal psycho, or a kleptomaniac, or a habitual crminal, or someone with an abusive parent, or with recklessly dangerous behaviour with drinking or gambling, or, or, or...i could name a hundred situations that the 'victim' may claim to be 'small things', but could be deal breakers...i think it is better to be safe than sorry...

    yes, by all means, love with your heart...but if you do not use your head, your heart would be broken in no time, and you will be left wondering why you didn't 'see it coming' when it was staring at you all along as some 'small thing' you chose to ignore

  5. Kedar! Do read again :) All the things you mentioned have been talked about :)

  6. True story .We live in a world of convenience. Fact is everybody thinks they can do better and everybody thinks theyll never get older...some realise their loss in time some dont and thats the way it rolls .

  7. Well said.
    How can that so called love disappear suddenly?
    I would say if that ‘so called love’ disappears over these deal-breakers, it’s not love then.
    Anyway, in such cases wouldn’t it be a good idea to let the date know in first meet only about such deal-breaker things from our life?
    Instead of waiting and telling later which may affect our self-confidence after break-up.