Living in sin!

Living in is sin, or so we are led to believe. But I am a big supporter of this sin! Living in is beautiful. It is the willingness of two people to commit to each other without pressures of society. It is acceptance without legalities. It is total acceptance in it’s purest form. I, a happily married woman, firmly believe that and anyone who thinks it’s sin is just living in the last century!

And then, a few days ago, I heard another point of view.  My friend had been living in with her boy friend (do we call them that even when they are middle aged men?), for twelve years. They were happy and needed no piece of paper to prove their love to the world. Then, he cheated on her. When she confronted him, his defence was, “I’m not married to you! I can do as I please.” And that got me thinking. I set out to speak to a lot of those people I considered old fashioned. And here is what I found!

A single friend of mine, who has lived in with someone for 3 years, is now asking for the ring! Reason? There is a time for it. They lived in when they were young and experimenting. She’s been the new chick, the girl friend that lasted and the girl he wants to be with. She’s done with it and sees marriage as a logical conclusion. She thinks she’s ready to close that escape route. She is ready to move forward! 

Living in, according to her, without that piece of paper is an escape route! Do we tell our families when we live with someone? Does our other half get invited everywhere with us like a spouse would? Do we take the live in partner to family weddings? Nephew’s birthday? Family dinner? Does our partner pack his/ her bags and move out when our parents come to stay? If the answer is yes, then living in is an escape route! 

In a relationship, we tend to get entangled with each others families, friends and what have you! The more people involved, the messier the break up! So live in, tell no family so that the break up is easy! There are no assets to divide, no divorce to be filed and no families trying to patch you up!

I still think living in is great as long as two people are happy and respect each other. Living in is beautiful if you are open about it and meeting each others friends and family. Living in is amazing as long as you are not a dirty secret! 

And if you care enough, and one of the two wants it, then what’s the harm in getting married and giving them some peace of mind? Nothing will change if you are truly committed, because after all, it is just a piece of paper!