I got married late. By Indian standards, there was no hope of me ever being able to climb off the shelf. I was about to be Varsha Bua/ Maasi who never managed to marry and have a life - relatives wondering if there was something secretly wrong with me (naturally there is something wrong if you are not married by the age of 21). I would deal with whispers and pity and that would be my life! But somewhere deep in my heart, I knew that was not my life. I knew I'd meet someone and have a normal life! The kind of life I wanted.
If someone doesn't want marriage, that's fine. This one is for those who want it and haven't found it. or want it, but are afraid to look around them and see if there is someone they can commit to.
As we get older, we begin to believe that we are too old, too set in our ways. too independent to adjust with someone new in our lives. I think it's the opposite.
I'm sure it's wonderful to be a young bride, but being an older bride has it's advantages. And this goes for men too (not that I'm calling you brides).
As we grow older, we become more realistic. We love the flowers and moonlight, but we also accept that it won't happen everyday. We learn to adjust at the work place and we begin to accept people for what they are. If our friends are busy, we don't feel bad. If we lose something, we deal with it. Basically, our expectations are more manageable and we are easier to get along with. We have already made the mistakes we had to and have hopefully learnt from them.We appreciate what we have because we got it after a long wait and, here's the best one, we have less time to make mistakes or be bored of each other!
Apart from this, you enjoy your wedding more, because you don't care if people say, "the bride talked/ laughed too much." (I cried through my wedding though.)
So here's raising hope for the ones who have waited long and dealt with the whispers. You are never too old to be a bride or a groom as long as it is what you want and the whisperers be damned! Go forth and do it for yourself!
And the whispers don't really stop. Now people whisper about what I did to trap a man into marrying me past my marriage expiry date :) But who cares? I'm too busy making it work with the wisdom that came with age! And the only thing wrong was that I hadn't met "the one" until now!
If someone doesn't want marriage, that's fine. This one is for those who want it and haven't found it. or want it, but are afraid to look around them and see if there is someone they can commit to.
As we get older, we begin to believe that we are too old, too set in our ways. too independent to adjust with someone new in our lives. I think it's the opposite.
I'm sure it's wonderful to be a young bride, but being an older bride has it's advantages. And this goes for men too (not that I'm calling you brides).
As we grow older, we become more realistic. We love the flowers and moonlight, but we also accept that it won't happen everyday. We learn to adjust at the work place and we begin to accept people for what they are. If our friends are busy, we don't feel bad. If we lose something, we deal with it. Basically, our expectations are more manageable and we are easier to get along with. We have already made the mistakes we had to and have hopefully learnt from them.We appreciate what we have because we got it after a long wait and, here's the best one, we have less time to make mistakes or be bored of each other!
So here's raising hope for the ones who have waited long and dealt with the whispers. You are never too old to be a bride or a groom as long as it is what you want and the whisperers be damned! Go forth and do it for yourself!
And the whispers don't really stop. Now people whisper about what I did to trap a man into marrying me past my marriage expiry date :) But who cares? I'm too busy making it work with the wisdom that came with age! And the only thing wrong was that I hadn't met "the one" until now!
May those who need someone by their side not worry about what the days and years ahead may have in store but hold the feeling in their hearts that if they want to be with each other, wake up with the same face next to theirs on the pillow and grow in their relationship for a long long time, its okay to dare to do just that. I've been through a lot but I am never going to ever give up on my right to happiness and love. So, here is 'thumbs-up' to those who dare! God bless!
ReplyDeleteAwesome and so true Varsha!
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