Monday, 26 March 2012

Smile! You're being stalked!

When I was a young (read brain dead) girl, I wanted to write a book. It didn't matter what the book was about, but it was going to be called, "All Men are Ba#*&@^s". The title was gleaned from the experiences of various girl friends brave enough to go out with men. I was too much of a boy so no boy wanted to go out with me. The girls were all hurt little creatures who had been treated badly by cold hearted boys who used them, treated them badly and moved on. This forced these little gentle creatures to get together with the other girls in the hostel room and tear the boy apart over maggi and coffee. Sound familiar? We still do it! Over coffee and dinner and sleep overs. These sessions are great fun. The poor girl cries her heart out and the friends support her.

If the meeting is not to hold hands of the dumped girl for what the b....rd did to her, it is to make plans to sort out the moron stalking her! In any event, "all men are ba&%@*@s."

I still want to write that book, except this time it will be called, "Not all men are b.....ds and not all women are". Yes! I'm older and wiser!!!!

It started like this...A few weeks ago I went out with a male friend! He was quiet and moody and sullen. Something was clearly wrong but he wasn't telling. It took a lot of prodding but he came out with it...he was heart broken! And he wasn't meeting up with the boys and telling them because he didn't want to sound like "a chick." (Why he was willing to be a chick with me is beyond me). He really liked a girl and initially everything was good but then she vanished without explanation.

 There had been an evening where everything had been discussed with the girls and he'd been declared a potential stalker. And we all congratulated the girl for getting rid of him. Except, at that time I didn't know that we were talking about him.

Since I knew both parties, I knew both sides of the story. They met...he liked, she liked! They messaged each other for a while, coffee followed, went home and messaged each other some more. This carried on for a while. He took it slow giving the girl time. She got bored and began calling him a loser who would never ask her out to dinner. He sensed her pulling away and started sending more texts and making a couple of calls every day. Since they had just begun to get to know each other, there wasn't much to say. She began to call him dumb. He started saying sweet nothings, hoping to impress her with his romantic streak, she thought he was cheesy, trying to be Raj from DDLJ! (we loved Raj but hate a man who says the same stuff. What the hell do we want?) She named him "stalker". And the story goes on! I didn't know what to say to either one of them. They misunderstood each other and will have to figure it out themselves.

Now picture the same scenario. Girl meet boy! Girl likes, bot seems to like. Girl comes home smiling. She had a great evening and is looking forward to more. Boy doesn't call or text. (He's read about the 3 day rule from some magazine). He's waiting it out. Girl is also waiting. Staring at the phone, willing it to ring. She gives herself missed call to ensure that it's working. She switches it off and on again to make sure it's fine. Stares at it some more. The phone remains stubbornly silent. (I know all this because I've done it my brain alive days). She's driving her friends into coma by asking them why he hasn't called. Stares at phone some more. Relives the evening in her mind to see what went wrong. Can't think of anything. Stares at phone. Calls friend to discuss it(said friend is now cross eyed from boredom), but hangs up mid conversation. He may call and get busy signal. He still doesn't call. She calls herself to check phone is working...and on it goes. The boy is happily oblivious to all this, waiting for the 3 days to be over so he can call (mustn't break the 3 day rule set by dating gurus). Girl gets desperate to find out...sends breezy message...he's in a meeting and doesn't reply...she sends joke (with hahaha at the end), he still doesn't reply (now the match has his attention). Three hours have passed, the girl send s a message asking what is wrong, followed by more of the same...he looks at them, calls her psycho. End of story!

So now we have a loser stalker who is dumb and a psycho chick who liked each other but didn't make it to the logical end. No one's fault really, but confirms my belief...women hurt, men hurt. Women want love, men want love...and the list is endless. Personally, I'd rather be a caring psycho and have a stalker who tries to hard that be ignored! And of course, "Not All Men are Bastards and  Not All Women are Bitches!" 


  1. reality, no rule is without exception and all rules don't apply. Sometimes, it is okay to take chances. What's the worse that can happen?
    The post is very real boy it hits some nail! :)
    Check out mine -

  2. My experiences in the last few months have been "amazing".
    I met a gal, and i felt, yes..this is the one. She told me she had met a few guys before but all of them got cold feet on hearing the M word.
    I instantly told her, i want to take this forward and would want to marry her. I dont like beating around the bush and i still believe in love at first sight. She seemed impressed. Then a few days later, she dumped me. Excuse Given - My income is good but i need to earn more from my salary rather than other sources of income.

    Woman 2 - Again, i informed this one about my feelings and told her i am committed and want to take things forward. She was also, before i told her about this, of the opinion that guys get cold feet and are b******* because of that. After i told her about my feelings, she didnt respond to my calls or messages.

    Woman 3 - Same as Woman 1 and 2.

    My point is, what more should i do ? I earn very well. I have a home of my own. Not good to say, but since my parents are no more, there will be no saas-bahu stuff, I am 100% ready for commitment to the level that i want to get married again (sorry i forgot, i am an "innocent divorcee").
    So what more should i do ?

  3. Can I add the cliched phrase thts missed above - Women are weird and Men are Moron ! fits eh