Sunday, 15 July 2012

Get a life!

Last night I met a girl to whom I doffed my imaginary hat and became a fan for life! This girl is all of 26, and a few years ago, urged her mother to remarry! She was sick of seeing her mother "single." She wanted her mom to get a life! So she pushed her mom, till she agreed and is now happily married to a man younger than her, whome my favourite girl refers to as DAD! Beautiful story, isn't it?

Now there are a lot of things to tackle here, but I'll stick to one...COMPANIONSHIP! Yes! That much misused word! "I don't want marriage. I just want companionship." Really? And marriage denies you companionship? Yes it does. It denies you the companionship of many! But that again is not what today's rant is about.

I've met a lot of people who want nothing from a relationship...or don't want a relationship at all! I can see the sarcastic smile on the faces of all my friends. I can hear them saying, "really? YOU want to talk about it?' Yes I do! I'm a reformed commitmentphobe. And I've proved it so I'm grabbing my chance while I have it.

It's cool to not want a relationship, to just want friends, to network. I don't judge people for hanging on to this illusion called freedom! God knows, I did it for the longest time. But here's the truth.

I see more and more people who ran from it...older, wiser and often lonelier! It's great to be like this when we're young and surrounded by friends and life is days full of work and evenings full of friends and parties and mornings of delightful hangovers. But as we get older, our options lessen. Not to marry, but to party. Our friends are busy with their families and there are very few people left for us to spend evenings with. Look around you, you'll see a lot of these. Every time I looked, I saw myself, a few years from now. I had pushed companionship, relationship, marriage so far down my list, that I just knew that is where I was headed. And the best part was that I had no delightful little girl who would push me to it in the sunset of my life!

Much as it was against my natural state of being, I embraced a relationship! I decided to stop being myself. And to my surprise, I discovered another me! One who loved being with someone, who loved the thought of "the two of us."

Sooner or later, one of us will be gone, and the other will be lonely again and that's a fact of life...but at least we'd have experienced the togetherness and have beautiful memories and countless albums to keep us warm. And I insist that if I go first, my husband must move on and find companionship all over again. You see, life is too short to spend the golden years being lonely!

To me, today, life means companionship, togetherness and inter dependance. And the joy is that I haven't given up anything. All I lost was my commitment phobia, and got a life! A brand new life, a different kind of life...and a new adventure :)

I don't know what life has in store for me, but I refuse to give this up for fear of tomorrow!


  1. You are so right when you say, most shy away from commitment , coz for them the marriage denies them the companionship of many........(which totally speaks of a male persective).But then this is the outlook,unfortunately, which forces the women also to be closed to other relationships... opting not to get hurt over and over again. I dont deny that there are fears and scepticism in men too but commitment and loyalty are much sought after traits nowadays.. But I must say your conviction and optimism is infectious !:)Since D the time I hv been reading your updates atleast I can vouch for one mind changing its outlook towards finding companionship and love again!Wary but not blocked now ....all thanks to you, Varsha and Sandhya.....:)

  2. All I lost was my commitment phobia, and got a life! Terrific stuff, as always, Varshaa!

  3. Somewhere in the journey, people who have been hurt and tend to be scared of a commitment. What if it doesn't work out...but hey, what if it does? Imagine what you would have missed. I, for one, continue to wear my heart on my sleeve over and over again in the hope that someday, that 'wearing it on the sleeve' will be worth the trouble. I refuse to beleive that my 'someone' is not out there. I have made the most fantastic friends in the process of hunting for someone who will commit to me for life. It however will never get me to a stage where I will stop looking. There are no rules as to how it will happen and hey...all one needs to do is ask. That is as simple as that. Yes. I do not want to grow old alone. I want someone with me, a face to wake up to in the pillow next to mine, snuggle up next to and smile about, share coffee with on a porch and soak in the sheer joy of it, coem rain or shine. That is the life I want to get. :)
    Anjie, if I have made a difference, I am glad I have. I would want you to be happy. I want all my friends to find that special someone...and yes, there is one out there. Sometimes, its just the journey that takes a while. Hang in there!