Saturday, 8 December 2012

Fear of Flying

I have no fear of flying and this post has nothing to do with airplanes. But it is the fear of another kind of flight that I talk about. The fear of flying into the future...the leap of faith...the dive into the unknown. Into that, which we want very much, but are afraid to try, be it bungee jumping, taking up swimming, playing tennis with a pro, public speaking or, in my case, just plain driving! We all have these fears and phobias and the biggest among them if of finding a relationship. we want one, we need one, we talk about it incessantly but when the opportunity arises we run! "I'm not ready for it." Really? It's not your board exams and you can't study for it. You will never be ready until you take the plunge. "I'm commitment phobic." Get over it! This is the most abused phrase today and just makes people roll their eyes sarcastically. "What if I get hurt?" As opposed to what if I die alone? Or, my favourite, "I'm tired of trying!" Tired? It takes a bloody mindedness to get even a to get a degree, a job, a dress we love! Then why should love come easily? We don't tire of going to work, partying, working out. But we get tired of trying to find someone we may like! Many excuses, one solution! See a relationship heading your way, most of us just run.

We constantly hear people talk about how they are sick of being alone and how they are looking to "settle down." (What does that even mean?) But when they meet someone they like, they do their best to not let it work. I should know - I've been the queen of sabotage of relationships!

The fear of finding no one seems nothing compared to the fear of finding someone and not being able to make it work. And then there's the fear of having to give up our single ways. What if we suddenly have someone who wants to know when we'll be back? What if we find someone who wants to spend lots of time with us? Comments on our hair cuts? Tells us to call us if we are getting late, or worse, calls us if we haven't checked in? I'd say we've found someone who cares!!! Again, trust me! I gave up doing exactly as I pleased to answer to someone and that someone answers to me, and that's what relationships are made of!

But because we are afraid of finding someone, we see short men chasing girls 5 inches taller than them. 40 something women  flirting with 20 something men. Women being defiant and men being obnoxious1 Just ways of sabotage, I say! I have nothing against any of this simply because this is not being done consciously or with purpose. It's subliminal. And most of us have never thought about it. We just do it.

But all it takes to break the pattern is to accept it and calm down and just be normal. So what if you get hurt? Take the plunge. You'll sink or swim. Either way, you will live and grow old with a lot of memories!

As for me, I accepted my pattern, broke it and lost the fear of flying! And when you're high on a life well lived, you don't just fly! You soar! Trust me. Make the effort. Try it!

1 comment:

  1. no comments, so I gotta ! I have fallen and got up again and again. I will always look for that love and my companion, because I believe I can fly , I believe I can touch the sky !! To sum up an Abba song, 'Eagle'. I believe I am an eagle, I believe I can spread my wings ....