Wednesday, 5 December 2012

It's a date!

We happily say these three words constantly. "I'll see you for coffee." "It's a date." "Shall we watch a film tomorrow?" "It's a date." " Shall we go boil our heads together?" "It's a date." But what the hell is a date?

Last week, a friend went on a date with a very eligible divorced man! (It muse be obvious by now that I'm sending my friends on dates and living vicariously). Apparently, the guy was delightful! She came home having decided to meet him again because she loved his simplicity and honesty. He said what no man ever would.

At age 32, he had never been on a date before! He met his wife in college, love attacked and they got married. She was the only girl he had ever gone out with. And after the divorce, when he got back to the dating game, he had no idea of what to do! My friend found this refreshing and told him to be himself! "It's a date," she said, "not an interview with the firing squad. It doesn't matter if I like you or not, someone will!"

And that is the absolute truth! Most men, in the Indian sub continent (I apologize for generalizing. I'm sure all men are cool and date a lot, but women can usually tell), have never played the dating game. They meet someone when they are young and there are no pressures to impress anyone, or the aunty network introduces them to a girl or they meet someone through friends or at work. Everyone hangs out for a bit, and marriage is an underlying current. If they don't hate each other, they get married. End of dating pressure. So, when in your 30's or 40's you find yourself single again, you don't know what to do! The men try too hard or too little! They buy expensive gifts (and we love that, but let's wait till there's reason for us to accept), play themselves up, talk too much or freeze and act cool! In short, they end up chasing us away one way or another!

So here's the thing. Guys, please be yourself. We know Indian men don't really date and it's ok to be a normal person. We like it!

Girls, we know that the pressure is on the men, so let's make it easier for them. Let's laugh, shake our heads and get on with it. Because inside that guy who is talking rubbish and thinking it's cool, lies a normal nice guy :)

Having said that, date, but be safe! Your safety is in your own hands. Don't let it go till you have reason to trust completely and that will happen organically when Mars and Venus are in alignment.