This has already been published on rediff.com so some may have read it. Reposting it here!
www.footloosenomore.com
The 5 mistakes men make while approaching a woman! Actually, it’s more
than 5 – it’s infinite, but we’ll start slow!
1 - “How you doin?” or
versions of this - We forgive Joey when he says this. Hell! We love it when he
says this, but he isn’t real. We will never need to deal with him on a daily
basis except on TV for 23 minutes a day. But when you meet us and start in this
fashion, we worry that you have forgotten to grow up, exactly as Joey has! We
want a man to share our lives with, not a little boy who will need to be taught
the art of conversation. So please brush up the opening line. And if you can’t
think of anything, a simple “Hi. I’m so and so” will do!
2 - Appreciating us with
your eyes – also known as staring! Please! Do you really need to look us up and
down? If you want to talk to us, look into our eyes! Chances are, you’ll find
the answers to all your questions in there.
3 - Once you have
approached us, please do not check out the rest of the room. If we are polite
enough to speak to you, please offer us the same courtesy! And no, that hot
girl in the short dress is not showing any interest in you while you are making
her and us uncomfortable! When you feel the urge to check out the room for
other possibilities, refer to point number 2!
4 - We love a man with a
sense of humour so go ahead and be funny. But stay away from sexist, religious
or political jokes! That smile you see when you do that is actually a grimace
and we can’t wait to get away from you! When you feel like cracking an off
colour joke, curb your enthusiasm! And before you open your mouth, think of
what we will be saying to our friends later – because it’s true – girls do
talk! Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
5 - Do not flaunt your
money or lack of it! This is the biggest turn off. We don’t need your money.
Nor do we want it. If you are buying us a drink, buy us what we like, if we
accept it. Do not force bottles of wine on us and do not try to impress us with
the price of your watch. Also, do not tell us your life story or how you are
between jobs and financially strapped. We are not paying for your drink, dinner
or your life. Your financial matters are your own, as are ours!
6 - It was supposed to
be 5, but we can’t resist this 6th one. DO NOT TELL US ABOUT YOUR
EX! If you go down that path, you will never come out a winner. If you say good
stuff about her, we think you’re still pining and lose interest. And if you say
bad stuff, we wonder what you will say about us if things don’t work out. Either
way, this is a conversation best saved for a time when there is a relationship.
At this point we are strangers so let’s stick to small talk.
And here’s a little tip to make up for all the
mistakes you made in the past. SMILE! We like that. Show us respect, be polite,
be attentive, don’t be too clever because we can spot a fake (we’re sure you’ve
heard of women’s intuition – it’s usually right). Don’t do anything special – just
be a gentleman! www.footloosenomore.com
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