In my unofficial capacity as match maker, I speak to a lot of people. People who want to be married, people who want to be with someone, people who want companionship in preparation for old age. There is one thing common to all of them. All of them want someone who will love them and someone they can love and hold for the "happily everafter!" Plans have been made for this, clothes decided, venues fixed, honey moon destinations planned...they know where they will live and how! Hell, they even know what life will be like, what the other person will say and how they will react! (Hands on cheeks, tears in eyes and a gushing "yes"! People clapping while they walk into the sunset!) The fantasies have been planned and they are beautiful.
But here's the truth! No one actually wants to make the effort. Everyone wants friends or even a stranger to take a list from them and find someone who fits the bill! It's like buying a suit and then finding the person who will fit into it. And hoping that all will turn out great.
How does a stranger find you a girl whom you will like? How can even friends do that? If we want to fall in love, if we want to marry, we have to do it ourselves. Unless we want an arranged marriage, just not by our parents, who are in fact the best people to do it for us since they know us best! Do we just want to be able to say, "oh we met at a party", and hide the fact that we met at a party organized by a friend where she made sure we spoke and then told the other party that we were well suited and proposed? And hence arranged our marriage!
We say we want to meet someone, get to know them and become friends. We want to spend our lives with someone we connect with, but we make little effort to do so. We put status updates about good things in life take time and effort, success cannot be achieved in a day and what have you, but these don't seem to apply to the most important aspect of our lives - the personal one! We work like crazy and put in all we've got in work and party, but for our personal lives, for the happily ever after, we want instant remedies!
Why do we need someone to convince us that we need to find togetherness when we want it to? Why does someone else need to go looking for it for us?
And let no one tell you that it doesn't work. I've seen it work 45 times in 47 months. It worked for people who put in the effort and had fun without any pressure on themselves or anyone else! They believed that their personal life, their falling in love was not something they could ask someone to help them with and they did it...by themselves. So believe, work towards it and get out. And above all, do it yourself because this one is for yourself! Oh! And don't forget to collect new friends along the way because you can't possibly marry all the people you meet!
Lalit and Nina - Friends first!
But here's the truth! No one actually wants to make the effort. Everyone wants friends or even a stranger to take a list from them and find someone who fits the bill! It's like buying a suit and then finding the person who will fit into it. And hoping that all will turn out great.
How does a stranger find you a girl whom you will like? How can even friends do that? If we want to fall in love, if we want to marry, we have to do it ourselves. Unless we want an arranged marriage, just not by our parents, who are in fact the best people to do it for us since they know us best! Do we just want to be able to say, "oh we met at a party", and hide the fact that we met at a party organized by a friend where she made sure we spoke and then told the other party that we were well suited and proposed? And hence arranged our marriage!
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| Lalit Malhotra and Nina Maini Malhotra - I've seen them put in the effort and the joy is all their own, shared by all of us! |
We say we want to meet someone, get to know them and become friends. We want to spend our lives with someone we connect with, but we make little effort to do so. We put status updates about good things in life take time and effort, success cannot be achieved in a day and what have you, but these don't seem to apply to the most important aspect of our lives - the personal one! We work like crazy and put in all we've got in work and party, but for our personal lives, for the happily ever after, we want instant remedies!
Why do we need someone to convince us that we need to find togetherness when we want it to? Why does someone else need to go looking for it for us?
And let no one tell you that it doesn't work. I've seen it work 45 times in 47 months. It worked for people who put in the effort and had fun without any pressure on themselves or anyone else! They believed that their personal life, their falling in love was not something they could ask someone to help them with and they did it...by themselves. So believe, work towards it and get out. And above all, do it yourself because this one is for yourself! Oh! And don't forget to collect new friends along the way because you can't possibly marry all the people you meet!
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