Tuesday 23 July 2013

How to make a leopard change it's spots!

Everyone loves a rake (well women do), and men seem to love a damsel in distress...until they become part of your life forever! But let me start at the beginning...

"The bad boy" whose reputation often precedes him is usually good looking, charming, makes you laugh,  has had a series of girl friends and has other such interesting attributes. Oh yes, he is also unattainable! He loves you and leaves you and you've been told this by your friends. And yet, he is the most interesting package and you believe that the love of a good woman will change him...and you are that good woman of course! He hates to see you talking to anyone else because he is afraid of losing you. He may have left all those other women because they didn't love him enough and he will marry you and go on to have 6 children and love you for the rest of his life!



Ditto girls. She is beautiful, always laughing, charming and always in distress...or just plain difficult. But you believe she will change for the love of a good man and you are that man, aren't you? You read The Taming of The Shrew and decided that you were Petruchio to this Kate! If she is jealous, it's because she loves you, not because she is a possessive woman. If she gets insecure when you talk to others, be they men or even your own mother, it's because she can't have enough of you. If she calls you in distress the moment you are out having fun with the boys or working long nights, it's because she can't do without you. And you, are her knight in shining armour! Right? WRONG!



People don't change because that's who they are. They do the same things no matter whom they are with. Rage issues, jealousy, suspicion and the inability to commit are going no where. Neither is anyone going to fall in love and start loving your friends, become responsible or stay put in one place. Minor changes may happen, but DNA will not change and you will need to love this person with all of this. And accept that you will deal with this all your life!

My husband is exceptionally caring, but I 'm sure he would have been exactly this no matter who he was married to, because that is who he is. You see, it's about him, not me! I may be able to nag him into throwing away the old t shirt, but I will never be able to make him change his basic nature.

So if you are in love with a rake or the shrew, and waiting for your love to change this person, go right ahead! Meanwhile, I'm going to get a baby leopard, train it, watch it grow and then wait for him to change his spots. And my bet is that my leopard will change sooner than yours!



 

6 comments:

  1. DEJA VU! exactly what I needed to hear - thank you

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  2. Sheer experience...100% right!

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  3. Too bad that movies and books have romanticised this.....the truth is that no external person or love can make this change happen, if a person is happy with who they are .,..there's no good reason for them to want to change either......although if a person truly wants to change ....love is a fancier story to tell than.." I wasn't getting any anymore"

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  4. A Truth that's so difficult to digest..

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  5. A Truth that's so difficult to digest..

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