Wednesday, 13 November 2013

Are you embarrassed of being single?

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Varsha Agnihotri Vadhyar
Varsha Agnihotri Vadhyar
Varsha Agnihotri Vadhyar is the co-founder of Footloose No More, a platform which redefines the way marriages happen in urban India. Having launched three years ago in Mumbai, it is now in Pune too. Footloose No More was started by Varsha and her brother, Abhishek Agnihotri who have, since its launch, also found their soulmates in the group. The core of the group is marriage- in a fun, friendly and modern way.
  Are You Embarrassed of Being Single

When did we start thinking of looking for what makes us happy as regressive or embarrassing

I recently spoke to a friend who said, “I’d rather be dead than admit that I am single and looking for my soul mate!” This came from a girl who has secretly been checking matrimonial sites because she is in her 30s and wants to be married.

She was ashamed to admit that she wanted to be married because she thought people would look down on her and think of her as regressive. Having been in the same situation a few years ago, I understood her feelings. But I also understood that these same people who made fun of her would not be with her on long lonely nights, or when she was lying in bed alone with flu, or change their plans to spend time with her when she was down. No matter how many quotes on friendship we share with the world, and how much we agree with them, the hard fact is that friends do have their own lives and it is unfair to expect them to drop everything for us. It is also unfair of them to laugh at us when we look for our other half and we are unfair to ourselves when we give up due to social stigma. What kind of desperado tells people that she wants a husband, kids, family, and a life of her own?

When did we start thinking of looking for what makes us happy as regressive or embarrassing? We, the same people who share the fact that we drank too much, had a wardrobe malfunction, our break ups and other such stories without a trace of embarrassment. When did we start thinking of looking for companionship as lame? When did we start believing that we would let others decide for us whether it was okay to be married? And why did we reach this place in life?

I do agree that being complete within yourself is great, but taking charge of your own life and not being ashamed to admit that togetherness would make you happy, gets my respect. And I, personally, would rather have my happiness, no matter where it comes from, than approval of people who are only part of my life on social media.

Image courtesy:©Thinkstock photos/ Getty images


  1. Actually I think the post should be called "Are you embarrassed to admit that you need that someone special". And yes, I've spent time convincing myself that I'm good enough/complete by myself, while in some deep corner of my heart I do yearn for companionship. So the post did touch some chords. And the reason I guess also fear of having my heart broken...

  2. No matter how independent you feel, you're always want that someone to hug, hold and talk to in hours of loneliness. I also believe that people are afraid to admit finding their soulmate in later yrs ( I mean 29+) is because of what others think. In my own experience, i know that i'm always been teased and sarcastically told let so and so find someone for you.( which I do not think makes sense, because you are going to live with your spouse or soulmate). so that's the reason i believe ppl are afraid of saying they're single and lonely.