Friday, 4 July 2014

Never too late!

This one can also be read by clicking on the link below on iDiva online. Fot the lazy ones, just scroll down.

Fairy Tales Do Come True...Even If They Are Delayed

This story is a little personal but if you can't share a story that gives you joy, then what's the point? This is my idea of "paying it forward!"

By normal Indian standards, I got married late. In fact, I had to be taken off the shelf, dusted and then married. The world and his wife had decided that it wasn't going to happen for me and I got lots of advice on how to go for it alone.

Well meaning relatives and friends consoled me with stories of how a woman is complete within herself and doesn't need to be a wife or mother to prove her femininity. Being individualistic in nature, I do agree with all of this.

And yet, here I was, ambitious and independent, having a great time, loads of friends, a wonderful family, and yet, I wanted the ordinary. I wanted to be married. I wanted the mundane, the husband who would leave his socks all over the house, kids who don't listen to me and in-laws with whom I have to "adjust." I wanted a large family, all my own. Except it seemed like a distant dream.

But I had a mother who thought differently. While other mothers celebrated the arrival of their grand children, mine celebrated my singlehood with me. She encouraged me to go out and have fun, never letting me brood. She is the one who gave me a new perspective on feminism. Being feminist does not mean not needing anyone else - it means accepting what you want and then going out and getting it! "If you want it, you shall have it. Just don't give up on your dreams just because they are late in being fulfilled." She ensured that I went out and looked for what I wanted.

And finally, I met that man, except he doesn't leave dirty socks on the floor, the in-laws, with whom I don't have to "adjust" and just when everyone said, "wow! You got married, but don't worry about children. After an age it is tough and women without children are just as happy"...voila! I have two of those too! But this one is a long story for another day.

The truth is that none of this happened easily. The road was paved with blocks, hurdles and pain and heartbreaks did happen. Yes it was too late, but I refused to give up on my dream of the ordinary life. In my head my age or anyone's circumstances have nothing to do with it. You just need to be prepared for all the problems that stand in your way and say, "I'm not settling for less!"

And the truth is that there is no expiry date on dreams. Happiness does not know your age and the universe does not care about circumstances. Determination and resilience will beget results, as long as we remember that fulfilling our dreams is our duty and "IT IS NEVER TOO LATE!"

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