Wednesday, 24 September 2014

Boys need more nourishment!

A few days ago, I was showing pictures of my twins to a close friend (I'm a new mother and I'm forgiven boring other people with their photos). While she gushed, as people do, another lady piped up, "I hope you will not do the girl boy thing!" Without thinking, I answered, "But boys need more nourishment!" Now this is a family joke that my mom in law cracks with her daughter and me. It means nothing except banter between us and no one even pays attention to us when we do this.

My strengths!

But I have been noticing a strange trend of late! It is politically incorrect to want a boy. And if you show affection, you've had it! In will pour accusations of discrimination. And often, all this happens in the presence of the little boys. So here's my question! Are we bringing up a generation of boys who will grow up resenting the girls? A generation that will never experience the joys of pulling little pig tails in the play ground for fear of being labelled "just like a man" at a tender age? Will it be a generation that will be afraid to take on a woman even if she is wrong and feel guilty just because they have a penis? Are we now curbing the spirit of our boys and burdening them with guilt and fear soon after they are born? In empowering our girls, are we teaching our boys to bow their heads in shame?

The Vadhyar Boys!

The Agnihotri boys!

I do agree that given today's climate of the country, "save the girl child campaigns" are required and certain people need to be told that a girl is just that, a girl, no different from anyone else, but constantly pointing out to boys that they have to be careful when interacting with girls is too much pressure on them!

Growing up, I didn't realize that I was different from the boys because no one pointed it out to me! No one said, "you are such a boy!" I don't think my brothers actively thought about it either. Our parents went about the business of loving us and teaching us right from wrong as well as they could. Everyone had to be respected regardless of gender and no great speeches about girl children were ever made. And we grew up to love girls! How could we not? Some of our favourite people, our grand moms and moms were girls!

Perhaps we need to ponder why we feel the need to preach to the choir? Just saying treat the girls right is not enough when looking around we see women working against women, writing nasty articles, sharing stories of actresses turned prostitutes while pretending to be liberated!

This is an ode to the wonderful men in my life, some of whom have brought me up, some are my friends, brothers and confidants, one I am married to, and some of those I will bring up! May we have more men like you and more mothers like the ones who brought you up - the ones who didn't shout from the roof but quietly taught you to be the fabulous people you are!

My sister with the best boys in the world!

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