Saturday, 20 December 2014

How to spot an alcholic

When I was pregnant, the only thing I craved was alcohol. And I had never been a drinker. This was really weird! After the twins were boen, I still craved it. Did that make me an alcoholic? No! It just made me a woman who craved alcohol during pregnancy.

I always wonder why people have this superior look when they talk about it. "Oh! I don't drink." And then look sanctimonious. The thing is, it doesn't make you any better or worse than anyone else. It just makes you a person who doesn't drink. And this extends to most things in life. "I work out everyday." Yippee for you! "I don't splurge on expensive clothes!" I bow to you O holy one! "I'm not the partying type." Well, I know lots of people who are and they are not bad people at all. "I don't go out at night." I do and guess that makes me Dracula's sister.

What's with the judging? What makes one person better than the other? And how do we know it? My dad has a wonderful line. "Everyone has the right to live the life they want. It's their problem. I don't have to engage with them if I don't like it, but I can't comment", he says. And I do agree.

"She goes out with too many men." How else will she know who's right for her? "He goes out with too many women." Ditto. As long as they are not hurting me or mine, I don't care! People call me diplomatic when I say this, but I honestly find this stuff boring! Also, who am I to judge?

I've been judged too, about a lot of stuff! But the best one was - I was regularly judged for not drinking. It made me a boring prude apparently. And my answer always was, "I like to know when I'm having fun."

The thing is, we cn try not to judge, but it will happen. It's human nature. The trich perhaps is to learn to take it with a pinch of salt and laugh because why should we change for society? Similarly, maybe we need to smile at stuff others do. We don't need to join in, but who knows when this attitude may help us look beyond that glass in their hand and find something truly special! It's not just alcohol!

"I would never go out with a guy who wears scruffy shoes." He makes a lot of money and can buy new shoes. But he's a great guy and you missed out on him! "I'd never marry a guy who parties." He's single and can do what he wants. And what's he supposed to do on Saturday nights? Date the TV? Meanwhile, he got married and hangs out a lot with his wife, but you missed out on him! "I'd never go out with a girl who wears short skirts." she can go out and buy long skirts, but what will you do about your last century attitude? And just so you know, she's a great home maker and loves her mom in law, but you missed out on her!

Maybe, in the search for "the perfect one", we need to look beyond the surface and give each other a chance.No one is perfect. Just because he drinks, he's not a bad guy. And that girl who smokes, may after all be the perfect wife and mother. The two are not mutually exclusive. It works, and I may sound holier than thou, but trust me, because I say this from personal experience!


  1. Yes!!!! I so agree. Never ever give up. :p
    No judgment.
    Hugs to a fabulous woman!

  2. Writing should move, inspire, and awaken something of yourself in you. Here is that very reason why I nominate and award you the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. Congratulations! To read more about it, visit my post