Saturday, 27 December 2014

What we want from relationships

We don’t love anymore. We don’t really want it. We don’t commit because there’s no need to. We don’t bother with romance because who has the time for it? Now that the world is at out fingertips, why bother? We have computers that can figure out who we would get along with, or we could just ask a matchmaker to fix up a date. We can in fact, order up a whole relationships with the click of a button or the swipe of a finger. Why bother to go in search of that gourmet meal when there is a buffet out there, with people waiting to take our orders at a whim!

And once we find someone online, meeting is too much trouble. Romance now lies in good morning texts or assorted emoticons. Why meet when relationships can take place on twitter, whatsapp or chat? And when we meet, we what we have to those shiny, happy couples on facebook, uploading their selfies. We want what they have because they don’t share the fights, the arguments, the tears and the moments of doubt that every relationship must go through!

We wonder why finding love feels so hopeless.  After all, aren’t we on various websites? Didn’t we exchange numbers? And wasn’t there a date? Enough effort made. Now we can sit back and say it didn’t work out because we didn’t have enough happy couple selfies! We move on!

Fact is, relationships take effort. From the moment we decide to look for it, till the moment we die! They just do!

Do we even realize that what we are looking for is a lie. And we will not find it with the next person, or the next, or the next! Because relationships are about comfort, about having a runny nose and being ok with it and they don’t always sparkle. It isn’t about sampling everything on the menu and hoping the next dish will be better. It’s about knowing the one you like and having it because otherwise we go hungry! But above all, it’s about putting in the effort – in person – doing it yourself – because relationships are not group projects!

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