Saturday, 9 April 2016

Age is just a number...

If you are woman in your 30s, you've probably heard it already. And if you haven't reached this "ripe old age" yet, then rest assured, you will be haring it sooner or later. This line is not usually used to make us feel ok about being "old", "past our prime" or make us feel good. It is usually used by ignorant men who think this is the way to impress us.

There are even versions of this...and when we hear them, these are the answers running through our heads...

"Oh you're older? Don't worry. Age is just a number and I'm ok with it!" Whew! I was really worried that you may not be OK with me being an adult, since you clearly are not!

"Wow! You're older than me? Awesome! Will you pamper me and look after me?" Of course! All my life I've waited to find an imbecile to look after. In fact, I'm going to marry your dad, the officially look after you, my child!

"I've always wanted to be with an older woman! I bet you can teach me stuff!" Firstly, if you've reached whatever age you are and not learned "stuff", then I'm really sorry for you. You need help. So sure, I'll teach you, I'll teach you some manners, how to respect a woman and a lesson, though not necessarily in that order, because clearly, your mother failed at it.

"You're older. At this age you should be over this wanting to be serious thing and go for some fun!" Sure, I'm up for fun, but your idea of fun and mine will never match. You're just a moron and I already am looking down upon you.

"Your experience and my youth would be a perfect match!" I'd prefer my palm and your face to match!

We know what you're saying, and it's not complimentary.

No matter how you say it, a man saying this with a leery grin just comes across as a sleazy creep. We understand that you've watched porn and it's your fantasy, but really, do we look like we fit in? And don't even try to put on the "I'm so sincere" act. We can see through it. Which is why we sometimes actually marry younger men and go on to "look after them, teach them, have fun and be a perfect match", because with the right man, age is just a number.

But the thing is, this line is used by boys, not men. And we know the difference! You see, we've had more years of practice spotting them than you know.

Here's a lit of women who knew the difference and "men" who meant it.