Friday 10 April 2020

Love in the times of lock down



Yesterday I was speaking to a friend who is “looking for a ladka” for her cousin. My friend is educated, highly progressive & great fun! The cousin in question is extremely attractive, very bright, Studied abroad, independent & a fashionista. I asked why she would not look for someone herself (trust me to put my foot in my mouth) and there was a long silence, followed by a shocked, “what?”. I backed off but it got me thinking.

Why do most Indians (some of us are different) give up on falling in love even before we begin? We study, work hard and look after our families. We know that someday we have to get married, have kids & be a large happy family. But where does that important milestone of falling in love go?
How often do we hear the words, “my parents are looking for someone” or “I am looking for someone for my brother/sister”? Even on matrimonial platforms, there are often parents or siblings who are logging in and communicating with prospective brides & grooms. Why are most of us confident that our parents will eventually find someone for us to marry?



It’s almost like it’s not part of the DNA of a large part of our population. Almost like we don’t really expect to be able to find someone for ourselves. And we often don’t expect to really fall in love and end up giving up on the butterflies in the stomach, the breathlessness, the waiting to meet & the goofy smile that connecting with someone can bring.

It is so ingrained in us that a lot of us don’t really know how to engage with the opposite gender (I know that it doesn’t apply to everyone). But social interactions, even the ones that lead to the happily ever after are a matter of practice. The more we connect, the more we polish ourselves, become more confident and sure of what we want. So interact we must! 
So during the lock down, explore online spaces where you can meet singles ( I would naturally recommend Footloose No More, but go ahead and check out everything). Connect & take that step. 



And as always, be safe!



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