Monday, 5 September 2011

I'm judging you!

Once again I bring back a footloose experience!

Almost everyone in Footloose No More is above the age of 30. And that, according to me is a ripe old age! It is where we have lived a bit, in fact lived it up to an extent that we wonder if we will ever be able to live some of it down. It's an age at which we have been there done that! In spite of it, most of us insist on behaving like babes in the woods. And to be honest, I don't understand this obsession of mature adults (and I use that term loosely) with reputation and pretended purity and innocence!

To me, turning 30 is liberating. It is an age where we have come into our own, are ready to leave behind the past, not give a damn about what people say and get on with finding what we are looking for, the world be damned! And yet, I constantly hear, "but what will people think of me if I go out with...if I wear...if I laugh too much...if I go out too often..." To quote Rhett Butler, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!" And if you do, maybe it's time to re examine your life, mind, motive, soul and whatever else it is that is sitting judgement on you!

Truth be told, people don't really have time to think about you and sit judgment (the ones who do, should not be counted. They clearly have nothing else to do, so let's give them their little joys). Fact is that most of the time we judge ourselves against images that we have built of us! And we try to live up to them, But we evolve, we grow up and we think and behave differently. And we begin to have relationships accordingly. But somewhere along the way, we forget our relationships with ourselves.

To me, what I do, and what makes me happy is most important. And if people talk about it then at least I am important enough to be spoken about. And that, is the joy of growing up! Being able to live the way we want because the ones who are judging aren't going to live our lives, face our tribulations or even share our joys.

So let us take that step towards ourselves and our lives and finding our own happiness...and while everyone mulls, agrees r disagrees, I'm off to live a little :)


  1. Those who crib about being spoken of this way or that, are the ones to whom it matters 'what people say'.

    And if it matters what people say, then one needs to adhere to the sentiments (read judgement) of the people.

    One cant eat the cake and have it too. You cant wannabe bohemian and at the same time have the sensitive skin of a hippo. So yes, i agree with u that one has to have a 'damn all' attitude and nothing anyone says will bother. But the fact that it does bother one, means that one does not have the attitude that it takes. Then m afraid one has to cater to the conventional norms.

  2. I agree! But if one has decided to adhere, then let that done with aplomb! The problem is that everyone cares but pretends not to or vice versa!

  3. Great chain of thoughts!!.. Agree to the post..however i would add- that i do care about what "people" say or think of me.. but then these are the "people" whom i care about a lot and they make a difference in my life and their opinion is valuable... for all other people..i think i care a damn!. so yes..its selective! and its personal!

  4. The Post is Definitely Self Explanatory....and the Author has indeed Justified it in an Amazing way ...

    However... Just to make my point... We live in a complex ed mixed up CRAZY society and JUDGING any Individual for what he/she is....the most common phenomenon ..thanks to the fact that we don't know how to mix up Religious cultural values and with what fanatics call Westernization ...

    We as Individuals need to confidant of what we are and leave the Jugding to our KARMA... rather than DHARMA.....

    (Dont know if it makes sense ... it was very spontaneous..)

  5. Anuradha Mishra20 March 2012 at 03:17

    As human beings we tend to burden ourselves with as much weight as we can....whether it is our own misgivings or judgements of others. However, we tend to forget that those who judge and create judgements, their judgements are their problem and they need to deal with them rather than we making their problems ours and stop living life on our terms.

  6. Your post has such timing!
    I, as recently as yesterday decided to clean up my FLNM Friends list. I had some 107 people on my list yesterday and I pared it dowm to 92 people. Some of these are still on the questionable list and I may cut down my list even more. Someone noticed it and this is how the conversation went:
    Someone: Hey, you had over a 100 friends on your list on FLNM. How come it's down to 92?
    Me: Yes, there are people here who sent me an add friend request, I added them and there has been no interaction or meet up thereafter. What is the point?
    Someone: ...but, won't they feel bad that you unfriended them.
    Me: Whatever for?
    Someone: What will they think of you? Others will think you fought...
    Me: Did I? No. They haven't interacted with me, some I haven't had the inclination to, it doesn't make sense to jsut have increased numbers but none in reality. I meet these people at events, that's it. Those I haven't met recently, there is no point. I have Facebook for that.

    Well, I was judged. I couldn't care more. I have learned to say 'No' when needed. People who know me know that I say 'no' and mean 'no' for the rest, like Piyush said, it's their problem, not mine. I prefer to live it up.

    Yes, people, learn to stop worrrying about others worrying about you. It's their worry.

  7. The only explanation you ever need for doing what you want is because " You want To "The people who love you will understand. The ones who don't , it really does not matter !You are free to live your life the way you want to. Period .I have discovered that it is more to do with what others think about themselves, than how they feel about you .
    Value yourself and that is all that matters.