Wednesday, 20 June 2012


Marriage is an institution...but then who wants to be institutionalized?

There's been a spate of weddings in my life! A lot of my friends have either got married, or announced their engagements! All these people are now officially in an institution...and willingly so! To me, that's supremely exciting, and attractive! Yes! I did say attractive! Think about it. Do we not find ourselves getting attracted to people who are successful, slim, beautiful, well read, well travelled, great cooks....and the list goes on! This is because these people are committed. They are committed to their work (in an institution), fitness (the institution called the gym), books (institutionalized in school), looking good, their kitchens etc. Basically, they are committed and it shows. It makes them excel, and that excellence spills into their personas making them very exciting!

It is extremely refreshing to meet a person who is not afraid of commitment. These are people who stand out from the crowd, the ones who break the clutter. In a crowd of people who take great pride in calling themselves commitment phobic (I've been there and there's nothing exciting about it.), we find these rare gems who are able to make a promise and keep it. It makes me feel that here's a strong person, one who knows his/her mind and is happy to let the world know it. Here's a person who does not feel the need to hide behind pop psychology or paint himself as being overly complicated. When I meet someone who is ready to commit and willing to admit to it, I feel excited because it takes a strong person to stand by his belief and do what he can to get it.

Think about it! We are committed at work, gym, partying blah blah blah...but when it comes to our life and our happiness, we feel it's cooler to drift, to give the impression of being a flake who has no idea of what he/she wants, if anything at all! We refuse to commit to enrichment and contentment. I've been one of those, and now that I am institutionalized, I'm sure people who knew me then, found me flaky and vaguely annoying for not knowing my own mind! I know that I often exhausted myself when I went into a frenzy of indecision!

Having grown up (took a long time, but I guess growing up means willing to accept that you're ready to devote yourself to the person who makes you happy in stead of looking for the next one), I accept that one of the most attractive things about my husband was that he was clear that he was ready! He never acted cool and that's what made him so hot! I knew where I stood and how could I not be attracted to a man so clear on what what he wanted! Imagine! If this man was so clear on his commitment to happiness, how committed would he be to his goals in life! And that is the person one wants!

So here's the time to decide whether you are fashionably dithering or are you ready to be strong and attractive in a way only commitment can be!

Meanwhile, I raise a toast to all those who have been institutionalized, because there's nothing more beautiful than two people who are not afraid to be Footloose No More!


  1. Oh well! Truth, what one goes through translates into whether one is a commitment freak or freaks on commitment.
    I know a lot of people who would wear their heart on a sleeve (yours truly included) and get commited but when it doesn't work out, I suppose one gets either cautious about it or leaves skid marks when the word commitment is asked for.
    I suppose, now, it will take a lot of soul-searching to commit. Not afraid to but it has got ot be worth every bit of salt!
    As before, insightful.
    Hugs! Keep it rolling.

  2. Commitment with a compatible mate is great.
    Commitment with one not so, is hell.
    Nothing wrong with taking the time to be sure.
    Undoing a marriage is painful for parties involved, and those who love them.

    Viva the happiness in the committed, and in the ones not so sure yet, and the ones still searching.

    Wishing you and yours much happiness, Varsha.

  3. This one is for those who say they are not sure that they want to commit or take great pride in running away, believing it's attractive! I find a man who knows his mind and is not afraid to say it much more attractive!

  4. very well put, varsha...very well put! yes, it is fun being 'committed'...and for people who are not committed to anything or anyone, to look at the committed people from afar and convince themselves that they are happier for it is like a drunk person telling a sober one that s/he is happier :-)

  5. I could'nt agree more with you , Varsha . And in times where everything is crumbling , i admire a Man who wants to hold your hand , and makes no bones about how lovely that feels , for the rest of his life !
    I think it requires far more Balls to say " Haa , main yeh rishta nibhaunga " , than to say otherwise.
    Keep it coming , babe !

  6. Love what you wrote. Indeed a man/ woman who knows what he/ she wants and can say it like it far more attractive thank non-committal flakes (hmmmn like the way u put it:)). Look forward to more such posts Vee :)