Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Hey honey!

I woke up today to a "hey Honey! Let's meet soon" message! I turned and stared at my husband wondering why he was sending me these messages, but he was fast asleep. I squinted at the phone to see the sender's name and it turned out to be someone I have never met! He has my number due to common friends who suggested he speak to me for something...and he did not mean to insult or patronize! That's the best! He had no idea how offensive that message was!

And that is a fact! Men have no idea of how to address women (and I seem to know a lot of these). So here's a Hi Honey special crash course!

A woman can never be addressed as "Honey", unless she is either your wife or your daughter, and even then she reserves the right to object! So this term of endearment, along with babe, chick, sweetie and other such are totally avoidable!

The thing is that men too watch the same romantic films as us and think "if Shahrukh did it in DDLJ and got Kajol, then it must be fine!" News flash - that was fiction! Our life is a fact...and factually speaking, women will walk away if you come across as too familiar! It's creepy to have a man you don't know very well, use terms of affection! Call us by our names (ask us if you don't know), call us lady, ma'am, hell, even call us Goddess! But never ever address us as Honey again! Not unless you want to be left wondering where we vanished!

Maintain your distance, treat us with respect, be nice (it beats charming and fun), and even admit you have no idea what to say to us (we'll help you along)! But hold the affection till both parties are ready for it!

Treat us right and there will come a day when you can use the word "Honey", because at that time, sitting across you will be a woman who will address you as "baby". But until then, let's stick to just getting to know each other's names!


  1. THANK YOU VARSHA. This is a much needed post. I recently had to tell some one to stop using any terms of endearment till they got to know me. Its not a pleasant situation. Hopefully men will get it now.

  2. Absolutely loved your post!!!! Endearments are well kept for a later time when a person's really familiar with you. Two thumbs up for this post!

  3. " Honey I shrunk the Kids" ! wish I could do that to the guys .Yes I think the words Babe, sweetheart, baby, honey are not so funny after all. I had this guy messaging me for months with a good morning sweet heart in spite of ignoring him. But then I had to tick him off with ' I can be very bitter if you don't stop that..The babe word is used with one and all .I think it is thought as of being KOOL ! But it makes us oh so hot and angry !! I am so glad you have come to our rescue once again Varsha. I think the guys need some lessons on softer skills what say ??Till then let us be known by our names. yes we love our names believe me.

  4. Not saying that this is wrong. On the contrary. But maybe there is a reason for some males who tends to do this. I have personally noticed a lot of 15 - 25 year olds use these terms very freely. Including ILU without actually meaning them in the truest sense. This has a cascading effect on the 30 yr olds who might be around them and they too get sucked into the usage of these terms accordingly. I definitely will not expect any one over 38 odd years to do the same. If so then its too cheesy !! The ladies should have no qualms about gently correcting the person in question against usage of the same.