My best friend, a guy got married, and I did not feel sad, cry or wonder! This is because in my world, objects of affection know how I feel and I don't masquerade as their best friend. Why should I? I have friends, even best friends and friends is all they are.
We've all heard it, even said it ourselves, "so and so is my best friend. I'm in love and I think he/she feels the same about me, but I don't want to say anything and lose the friend." Really? So we'd rather giggle foolishly, bat our eyelids, try various ways to make them realize that they mean more to us, sigh longingly, drive our friends to suicide, cry when they start seeing someone else but never tell! Fabulous!
Here's what I feel! If you like someone and want them to be more than a "friend", tell them. People are not telepathic. They will not figure it out by themselves and your subtle hints may lead them to believe that you are mighty weird! Just imagine a person buying you flowers for no reason, hanging around you looking forlorn, laughing too loudly, either hating your present "friend", or trying too hard to like him/her! Whew! Just imagining it makes me want to run away!
I have a friend who did this for years. She wouldn't tell the guy. I think she feared rejection, but she said she didn't want to lose him as a friend. If he didn't feel the same way, he may freak out and run! I do agree with the last part, but if the bond of friendship is as strong as we think, it'll survive. On the other hand, not telling will mean a life time of sighing.
My friend did finally tell the guy...after he was a father...and said it as a joke...it turned out, the guy had liked her too, but was too scared to say anything. So now, there are 2 people, one married (he does love his wife madly), but wondering what it would have been like if they had spoken earlier...and another who keeps thinking about him and hasn't moved on. And continues to drive other men insane by constantly comparing them. The man has taken on the role of her protector and the guys feel uneasy around him! Now if the girl wants a man in her life, she has to keep him away from the object of her affections! So much for keeping the friendship and I'm confused by this relationship!
The point is, unless there is an impossible situation, why not tell? Who knows what will happen. Maybe he will run away, in which case the friendship wasn't strong enough (unless you turn into a howling banshee or a stalker). And if he feels the same then there's a lot of happiness in store. Either way, at least you will know and not spend the rest of your life wondering "what if"! And of course, your friends will live in peace knowing that you won't do the drama called "My Best Friend's Wedding."
We've all heard it, even said it ourselves, "so and so is my best friend. I'm in love and I think he/she feels the same about me, but I don't want to say anything and lose the friend." Really? So we'd rather giggle foolishly, bat our eyelids, try various ways to make them realize that they mean more to us, sigh longingly, drive our friends to suicide, cry when they start seeing someone else but never tell! Fabulous!
Here's what I feel! If you like someone and want them to be more than a "friend", tell them. People are not telepathic. They will not figure it out by themselves and your subtle hints may lead them to believe that you are mighty weird! Just imagine a person buying you flowers for no reason, hanging around you looking forlorn, laughing too loudly, either hating your present "friend", or trying too hard to like him/her! Whew! Just imagining it makes me want to run away!
I have a friend who did this for years. She wouldn't tell the guy. I think she feared rejection, but she said she didn't want to lose him as a friend. If he didn't feel the same way, he may freak out and run! I do agree with the last part, but if the bond of friendship is as strong as we think, it'll survive. On the other hand, not telling will mean a life time of sighing.
My friend did finally tell the guy...after he was a father...and said it as a joke...it turned out, the guy had liked her too, but was too scared to say anything. So now, there are 2 people, one married (he does love his wife madly), but wondering what it would have been like if they had spoken earlier...and another who keeps thinking about him and hasn't moved on. And continues to drive other men insane by constantly comparing them. The man has taken on the role of her protector and the guys feel uneasy around him! Now if the girl wants a man in her life, she has to keep him away from the object of her affections! So much for keeping the friendship and I'm confused by this relationship!
The point is, unless there is an impossible situation, why not tell? Who knows what will happen. Maybe he will run away, in which case the friendship wasn't strong enough (unless you turn into a howling banshee or a stalker). And if he feels the same then there's a lot of happiness in store. Either way, at least you will know and not spend the rest of your life wondering "what if"! And of course, your friends will live in peace knowing that you won't do the drama called "My Best Friend's Wedding."
Varsha I have had to make choices like this in the past.Its a painful dilemma to be in and more painful is the rejection and sadly the friendship does go for a toss,but if you dont make the choice the choice make you :).
ReplyDeleteSo totally Agree with u Varsha!! If you don't say it..you wl wonder all thru ur life about the what if's
ReplyDeleteWell....I ain't wondering and no, will not wait to tell if I feel something...no point of living if u never take chances and say it!
ReplyDeleteThe lesser the amount of " IF ONLY's" & " BUT's " in your life......the more peaceful path you are on......!!!!
ReplyDeleteOne of the finest blog today i have seen its been pleasure to read this blog of yours. I really keen to read more blogs of your side.anyways thanks lot for sharing this wonderful blog.
ReplyDeletethanks again & good luck
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