Friday, 6 January 2012

Dosti ki kasam!

Do you swear by it? Your friendship? It seems to be the new trend! People meet you twice and you start receiving messages like, "You make my life special! I'm so glad I found you. I shall stand by you!" And then, when you meet them on the street, they don't know who you are because you've met exactly twice- over 2 years...and since then, they have had your bb pin! Is dosti ki kasam, this dosti is a laugh.

Then there are those who keep in touch, know what's going on in your life and keep you updated about theirs. But that's it. Finito. This is your update friend. You look at their update and comment and they check out your update. And the next time we meet common friends, we sound like best friends because we know what's going on! Wah!

My favourites are the ones who swear...on a regular basis that they would never let anything happen to you. If you ever needed them they'd be around. If you are in a bad mood, they are in a maar girayenge mood. They are always ready to take up cudgels on your behalf. They are charming, say the sweetest things and generally have you convinced that you've finally found the friends you need. These are the ones to watch out for. Because when push comes to shove, they vanish. Calls go unanswered. You ask for help, they promise to call back. The call never comes. And the next thing you know is that the confidences you shared have been shared by everyone :) And when opportunity arises, they will discuss you, smile each time you fall but be present for every fun occasion, kissing your cheek, hand on your back, dagger firmly held :)

And then there are those you don't speak to on a regular bsis, but one call and help is at hand :) They will chat with you just because, and ask you nothing. Ask for anything, they've got your back! Anjli, Vinoo, mehroo, Preeti :)

The ones I've come to rely on are the ones who forget your birthday, tell you they are bored and have nothing more to say to you and generally treat you like shit. I have lots of these. The ones I met in the course of my life...Deepika Deshpande take a bow - aim in life - to scold me as much as she can and generally treat me like a particularly slow 2 year old. Whether I need anything or not, she will arrive, just because we are friends.
Sandeep Sharma and Partha Dey - They've annoyed me since we were this high. Still do! Thank God for them. I don't answer their calls, fight with them, didn't even inform them when I got married - but what would I do if they weren't around to drive me up the wall.
Ritu who would never talk to me if i said something nice about her! Or worse, make me clean my mouth out with soap!
And one who shall remain un named because she is too big for her boots (there! Althea! I showed you) We only insult each other, preferably in public. Have never said a nice word to or about each other, but on my wedding day, Ritu and Althea have arrived at 7 am with coffee just because I wanted it. And this was one of the bad things.

We've never even claimed to know each other well. And we have gone through thick and thin. These, and a lot many others will happily stab me in the chest if I falter. And these are the ones I want. I'd rather be yelled at than charmed. I'd rather be told that I'm making a mistake than have offers of help after the fact. When someone comes to tell me that these friends have said something about or against me, I believe it instantly. You see, chances are, it's already been said to my face, or will be as soon as they lay eyes on me.

I know I've forgotten to mention lots of them. That's because they never swore by our friendship1 They're not i my face. But I know they are there and will surface when times are bad...and good :)

It's simple. We don't ever need to tell our friends that they matter. They just know. And when someone tells us too much, I want to tell them, "dosti ki kasam, stop taking me for a fool." I'd rather have the stab in the chest!

This is my ode to the friends who have rarely said anything good to me. If you have some of these, please send this to them :) And let them know, Dosti ki kasam they matter!


  1. er.. the reason I am too big for my boots, is because I continued growing past my seventh year.. unlike some...well ok, one person I know.. who shall remain unamed [ there Varsha! I showed you!].. Case in point can be easily demonstrated by the phrase 'Croc shop, Lokhandwala'.. ringing any bells?.. [ps: i owe you 4 k, by the way, because shockingly the shop had shoes in my size!]
    And why, oh why, have you failed to mention the scores of friends who have leapt to their deaths, battled dragons in far off lands, joined the Peace Corp in Rwanda, signed up with the Al-Quaeda as suicide bombers, joined politics, found god... all because they were victims of your culinary delights?.. huh?.. huh?... why not mentioning them?.. huh?.. tell.. tell..

  2. Althea! While we are settling accounts and scores...there's a's gorgeous and I think you should buy it. Oh wait! It's extra small! Guess I should buy it :) Tra lalala

  3. LOVE THIS!!! It couldn't have been said better! And guys, sorry for butting in...please continue...should I say...'battling'. Varsha, I am cheering for you...haha..

  4. By God Ke Kasam - This is an interesting article and well written Dulling, its you face every time I see it it keep inviting me to annoy you, what can I say....Sandeep

  5. Love to see you two fight!

  6. from Giny and Jony, is it?..

  7. Blog only reminds me of one quote "Whoever says Friendship is easy has obviously never had a true friend!"
    By the way mera pura naam kya hai Varsha ;-)

  8. Althea Kaushal they are from the section where women with waists go!

  9. Oh.. You mean there are shops where women who end at most women's waists can shop! Wow!! Sooooo happy for you!
    From the bottom of my waist... (to the top of your head)

  10. nice take on friendships! - agree on all counts :)

  11. Tons of light bulbs are lit up every time I read your posts...Cheers!

    I bet everyone relates to this in their own periphery of dosti and nautanki.

  12. Awesome Varsha, great to read, the ones that care the most rarely show they care.