Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Women move in packs while men are lone wolves!

It's a fact! Women move in packs, while men are lone wolves. Look around, at a restaurant, shopping, movies, parties...anywhere! Women going to the powder room together, chatting, laughing loudly, discussing the merits of that new dress, while men! God forbid they go to answer nature's call with another man! They are too independent for advice on clothes (unless a woman comes along and offers it). It's just that Mars and Venus thing...and does create complications.

Imagine this scenario (I see it often at Footloose No More events)...A man spots a girl he wants to talk to...she is with 3 friends...he stands around waiting to get her alone for a minute...he keeps looking to check if she's on her own...the woman notices this and tells her friends...suddenly, there are 4 pairs of eyes on him! They look, they go back to each other, 4 heads come together, they whisper furiously, look at him again and the giggles begin! End of man's courage! This one is never approaching a girl again because he has ended up feeling like a dump creep! No apologies guys, that's what we girls do! It's a sisterhood thing!

But here's the thing for the girls! After we have done this (and I've done it all my life), we say, "men just stand in corners and never come up to chat." Naturally they don't. Would we walk up to 4 men and single one out to introduce ourselves? Never! We'd find it daunting. And this is where the Mars and Venus thing comes to an end. Men or women...we feel the same way about having to walk up to a stranger in a crowd. What if the person gets offended? Do we really want the world and his million sisters to witness it?

As usual, I can't resist telling everyone my life story! As a teenager, I had a crush on a boy. We were even friends and hung out in a big group. The crush lasted a long time but though he seemed to like me, he never said anything. I finally gave up and moved on. Years later, he told me he too liked me when we were younger. I sulked! Why the hell didn't he tell me? Apparently, it was because he never found me alone. I was always with a bunch of people. Something that never changed. Finally, my husband had to bite the bullet and tell me in spite of my safety net of friends. And after I got married, everyone had one question, "when did you find her alone to propose?" If my husband had waited, I would still be wondering if he likes me...or maybe he'd never have approached me!

And now to tell everyone my little secret (am I giving away too much?) As I grew up, I learned that to have that man I like approach me, hurdles need to be removed. So I would sit alone for a minute, pretending to admire the scenery, a painting or just resting my feet, put my phone away (if I'm busy texting, he won't intrude) and viola! Inevitably, someone would approach me. If I didn't like him, I could always say I needed to talk to someone...and if I did it was a happy evening :)

So men need to move it and not worry about the sisterhood. Learn to approach us anyway, coz this security blanket ain't going anywhere. And girls...we may like them, hate them, complain bitterly, but fact is, we like them. So let's help them along. Give the poor things a liitle nudge in our direction :)

Having said that, this is not a self help blog. I ramble on because I like to. And a few people seem to tolerate what I say. But this time I will give advice...Above all be safe. Trust your instincts. If you are uneasy, surround yourself and take advice. Because the most important thing in this world is YOU!


  1. must read!!!!Love it! You have really put it across...

  2. So Rightly said.....Thank god we have our girl friends to sound us off,or gv advice ,or simply pass on d gossip abt d guy!

  3. Haha this one is a winner !Yes we women are born to build and bond and do we, with our girl friends !Yes it happened with me at a FL party when I approached a guy. But believe me he was with three other women, and oh boy did i get looks, that would kill !Lol ! We all wait n watch but like they say " Time and tide wait for no man or woman !! I believe if you like someone " go for it ". Guys you gotta break that wall to come close, would be worth it ! And to all my women friends that I can reach out to, to confide in, to bitch around, to shop with and just even when I am having a bad hair day . I love you !

  4. Awesome Varsha!! Every man & woman should read it!!

  5. I must confess that I am beginning to look forward to these ramblings! :)

    Great read as always, and hopefully this helps me get that much closer to deciphering the puzzle that is a woman! :)

  6. True.. Nice Read. May be it's time the ideas we put in "Breaking the Ice" game be more innovative.