Thursday, 30 May 2013

Ross and Rachel!

My 5 year old nephew came running in to the house, climbed in to his mother's lap and informed everyone that he had a girl friend! Naturally we wanted to know how this miracle had occurred, and of course, who was the, for want of a better word, "the lucky girl"!

"Mehek", he informed us! "The one who lives 3 houses away!" "Ah!" Realization dawned on us! "The one who beats you up?" "Yes!" He blushed beetroot. "Does she know?" We had him stumped! "Of course not! But I know." He informed us. Clearly, according to him, this was of no consequence! He knew and that was enough! When we told him to let her know, we wished we'd kept our mouths shut! He got a slap from the object of his affections and came home crying.

And this, exactly is the charming philosophy men carry in to adulthood! They like a girl and that is enough. They will hang around, back slapping, helping her and generally being the best friend but never telling us. Then we start seeing someone else, they still hand around, looking morose and being best friends with our guy, hoping he'll dump us and we'll turn to him!

So here's the news flash! Once you become our friend, that's who you will remain. So stop trying to get into that zone unless you think of us as "one of the boys." Also, when we get dumped, we hate all men, you included so you stand no chance. And if we do cry on your shoulder, it's because you are the dependable friend. We will move on to other men. And people rarely marry their best friends. In fact, when I tried to be friends with my husband, he told me to move on!

So stop wasting time. Do not take it for granted that we will run in to your arms. Stop waiting for our hearts to break. Stop trying to be the rebound guy. If you like us, tell us, make a move and be stupid to impress us. But for Go's sake, open your mouth! Remember that you are not 5 years old and we are not going to beat you up. If we do, move on, like my nephew did (he is now 12 and has had numerous girl friends. We have no idea if the girls know!) One girl not liking you back is not the end of the world!

And do remember - not all friends are Ross and Rachel! And affection, love and like need to be expressed. So today, go for it. Take that chance. Get that slap or get that smile! Just don't hang around and waste time.