Sunday, 1 September 2013

Books and covers and other such things!

Yesterday I met a girl, recently married, exceptionally pretty, petit, doing well, clearly well educated an cultured! She was a cut above the rest (and I say this about a girl I have just met!) She had every reason to be withdrawn (as we see in most good looking and not so good looking people), but she wasn't! I loved meeting her! She was friendly, fun and immensely likable! On to the husband. I've known him for a while although not too deeply. We've chatted a bit, met once before yesterday. Again, a nice looking guy, doing well, educated, and speaks very well! Again - prime candidate for "oh! there's no one worth my while anywhere" kind of lines. But I've always been exceptionally fond of him! He's warm, approachable and a bundle of laughs. And everyone who has met him, has only good things to say! No wonder these two people found each other! Bhavna and Gaurav, take a bow!

Another guy, with everything going for him, down to earth, friendly and truly without malice and willing to explore the world and it's people is my favourite person! He too, has every reason to behave like a jackass (men like him usually do), but he surprises you each time with his warmth and innocence. And I know a lot of men and women like these!

When you meet them, you can usually tell what kind of spouses they will make. Talk about judging a book by the cover! But think about it...that girl (even if she is super model or film start gorgeous), looking down upon everyone and everything, making snide remarks (self esteem issues, i wonder?), is unlikely to attract any one into approaching her! She is going to go back feeling bad about herself because no one wanted to engage with her in a place full of people (except the 2 cronies she came with) simply because she spent her time making others feel bad about themselves! Why would I want to speak to someone who is so full of his/ her own importance?

I firmly believe, and I may be wrong, (and this may be a simplistic point of view), but to be engaged, we have to be engaging! To be liked, we have to be likable! To attract someone, we have to be attractive! We may believe that we are better than the rest, but does anyone really care? How many men would want a wife who stares down at them in an attempt to be cool or upmarket or whatever adjective floats her boat? How many women would want to be with men who need too much looking after and stroking of the ego? Does anyone ever, actually want to marry above them? In our search for someone far above ourselves, do we miss out on all the good people? Is anyone actually above anyone else? And above all, how does one feel good about themselves by making others feel bad?

I have a lot of friends...some gorgeous, some extremely bright, some super successful and some just plain fun! But I do know what has lead to these great friendships - each one of them is a great guy or girl...each one of them is normal, likable, and each one is willing to approach and be approached! They are as happy sprawling on the floor of my house eating left overs, eating puchka on the road, or dressing in designer threads and going to the most expensive restaurants with equal gusto! And they have large smiles and larger hearts! But basically, these are just people willing to have fun and take life as it comes without needing to put anyone down. And yes! We did judge the books by their covers and thank God for the good judgement!

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