Tuesday, 24 December 2013

How to save a dying relationship?

You can't....save a dying relationship...because it's going to die no matter what! And that's because, clearly, the light has gone out of it or it wouldn't be dying. Having said such profound words on this Christmas Eve, let me tell you what brought this on!

Off to a Christmas Party!

My husband is going to a Christmas Party and I'm home with the flu. He doesn't want to go and I want him to stay - but this party is tradition and he's not really going to skip it. Neither am I really asking him. It's all just gooey drama (yeah! We're quite yucky that way), but here is the truth of it- It may be just a few hours, but we'll miss each other because we always go for this party together. It's our own little tradition too. We have establishes certain traditions (the details of which will send you in to coma), but they help us keep the bond. These are certain things we always do together. They take effort and time and sometimes encroach in either mine or his personal space and are even inconvenient at times...but they are worth it! Because, when we are done with it, the effort has been worth it and we are glad we made the effort!Inevitable, it makes one or the other feels appreciated and brings us closer.

Truth is, no matter how effortless we want our relationships to be, no matter what, they will take effort and time. And they will eat into your personal space.It's a trade off, that to me, is well worth it.

We make the effort to be together on birthdays, he gets me flowers just because I like them (sometimes they are orchids which I hate), but I love the effort that goes into it. I'm a disaster in the kitchen but I've learned to make chicken curry and it makes him feel special that I did it for him! He makes the effort to get along with my friends even if they are being silly girls only discussing bags and I like his friends even when they are riling me :) (Purnendu, this is for you).

And these small things are what have kept us going for nearly 3 years. He runs to buy me cola in the middle of the night and goes shopping with me and I suffer horror films! But 3 years later, I'd say bring it on! I have all the time in the world and no effort is too much. As for space, who needs it when both take enough care to want to be together!

Trust me, relationships are hard work, but then, hard work does pay off! Am I right?

On another note, if there is anything you would like to write about, or some aspect of a relationship for me to touch upon, or even just have questions, write to me and I'll do my best :) MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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