Monday 1 September 2014

Be real?

This one can be read on the link below on iDiva.in

http://idiva.com/opinion-relationships/mirror-mirror-on-the-wall/31892

The lazy ones, scroll down!

Varsha Agnihotri Vadhyar
Varsha Agnihotri Vadhyar
Varsha Agnihotri Vadhyar is the co-founder of Footloose No More, a platform which redefines the way marriages happen in urban India. Having launched three years ago in Mumbai, it is now in Pune too. Footloose No More was started by Varsha and her brother, Abhishek Agnihotri who have, since its launch, also found their soulmates in the group. The core of the group is marriage- in a fun, friendly and modern way.

The_golden_rules_for_first_dates


When I was single and my friends found entertainment in fixing me up with suitable and not so suitable men, I once was made to go on a blind date with "the great fun guy!" He came highly recommended. So we exchanged a few emails (which were hilarious - and I'm a sucker for word play), sneakily checked out each other's profile pictures on Facebook and decided that meeting could up do no harm. This was a meeting I was really looking forward to. The guy was funny, so if nothing else, we'd have a few laughs.

So in I walked and headed for our table. The guy decent looking and seemed courteous. I took my seat and so began our evening. We started with things we liked - I liked books, so did he. I loved James Bond, so did he. I loved the hills, so did he. I loved rock music, so did he. I began to feel that I was meeting a part of myself. This was too much of a coincidence, so I decided to put it to test. I decided that I loved Ikebana and Haiku along with Harakiri, and lo and behold, so did he!!! That he clearly had no idea of what these things were was now obvious.

As the most boring evening of my life progressed (if I wanted to know about things I loved, I could have gone on a date with myself and had more fun), I realized that he had read all those articles which tell you to establish similarity, compatibility and what have you. You are told to mirror the other person's actions to seem compatible and discuss things they like to keep them interested. Except he was interesting only till the time he was being himself.

And this happens quite often, I find. We read up on all these magazines and books (and my articles and blogs), and decide to follow them. Except, I have never known anyone for whom it has worked. Though they make for great fun reading, perhaps we need to put more faith in our destiny, believe that there is someone out there who will love us for who we are, and just go about being ourselves. Because after all, living like someone's mirror image, just to keep them interested can't possibly be fun. So take a deep breath and trust the answer when you ask, "Mirror mirror on the wall..."
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