Wednesday, 29 July 2015

The Many Handed Compliment

We've all known them - the people who give you the many handed compliments! These people are also known as "the octopus". Yes, I am talking about those people whose hands roam, unfettered by the other party's discomfort or rude reactions, all over the said "other party".

We've all gone through it - the shrinking away from this person when he walks in to the room. He is pleasant, he is fun and he is a friend - or thinks he is. And that, according to him, gives him the right to be "Mr. Octopus."

On to the truth - maybe this guy means nothing when he hugs the girls. Maybe it's just a show of affection and maybe he genuinely is feeling protective - but we want to run away, tell him to stop it or just avoid being in the same room as him. There is nothing inappropriate about his contact. In fact, he is truly friendly and yet it gives us the creeps!

So all those who think it's ok to show affection innocently with your hands, here is the truth!

No. We don't misunderstand your intentions. Often we know that you mean no harm and are not actually being creepy, and that is the reason we have not told you off. But it does make us uncomfortable. Women don't like to be touched. That's it!

Often we are talking to someone and you come and put an arm around us. To you, that's being protective, but to the world, it seems like you are marking your territory. So just use some other way of showing us your support.

Ans the most important one - you are someone we met in another life. Maybe it worked out and maybe it didn't. But if we are not together, then the hrmless hugging isn't going to make us feel loving towards you. On the other hand, treating us with respect and keeping that "arm's length" just may work in your favour. Because trust us, when we want to be hugged by you, you will know it!

As for the women, perhaps it is a better idea to politely tell the person in qiestion to "stop it" in stead of complaining bitterly! This way we get to keep the friendship and stay comfortable. Because what is the point of affection if all it does is make one person uneasy while the other remains oblivious? In any case, chocolate shows affection better than octopus arms :)

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