Friday, 7 August 2015

How to be the perfect parent.

You can't! There are no perfect parents - end of story! That's the first thing to accept. But this isn't actually about how to bring up your kids...let me explain.

I was talking to a friend who announced "we already have enough issues. We don't want to add to them". Now this was said in jest and we had a good laugh at the clever play of words. But the underlying thought was clear. Here was a couple who had decided not to have kids. When asked why, they said, "we don't think we are cut out to be parents." This announcement was met with gasps from many, but I do bow to this couple, because the first rule of parenting is to ask yourself if you actually want to go through with this.

Parenting is a lifetime commitment. You can't undo it. Often we "do the thing" because of social conditioning. And then it's a race against time, finance and sanity! Social pressures or condioning is just not enough reason to have them. Just because you are a great aunt / uncle, doesn not automatically mean that you want to be a parent, because there will be no returning the tykes to someone at the end of the day.

Today people marry late and by the time they get around to having kids, it's even later. And that is when the choice must be made. Will you have the energy to run after tham? Can you handle it financially? Do you have a great support system? Are you happy to give up most of your time? And most important of all - are you having them for the right reasons? If it is because "everyone must have kids" or I need someone to take care of me in my old age", then maybe we need a rethink! Will we be able to do justice to the kids and ourselves?

All said and done, I personally have immense respect for people who make their choices and stick with them! Only thing to keep in mind is to have "the talk" before you get married!

And to the one who gasp or feel sorry for those who don't have kids - it's a choice. Just respect it!

As for me, I shall now go away and take a nap to deal with the kids who are now extremely energetic toddlers :)


  1. Tell me about it!!!! Parenting never is a learning curve every single day, no many how many you had and how perfect you think you are.
    I enjoy it. I am blessed that I have a kid who makes parenting a joy.

  2. Happy birthday Varsha! (31st August)

  3. Happy birthday Varsha! (31st August)