Monday, 24 October 2011

Warning - I'm a Modern Woman!

Yup! I am! So is every girl I know! We are modern women! Don't mess with us! We are independent - spiritually, emotionally, financially and need nothing from anyone. We are successful career women, on our way to the top! We are aggressive so watch what you say or do in our presence because we don't take shit lying down! We'll sort you out in a heartbeat.

We dress to kill (and you'd better not have an opinion since we do it for ourselves), work hard, party harder yeah dude! We can drink you under the table any day!)...look after our homes, emotionally support each other and don't need anyone to make us feel good!

That's most women I know and I salute them. We are not short of being superwomen!

Then one day I walked into the Taj hotel for a meeting with Sirresha Ghiara. She's climbed the corporate ladder and made it in a man's world. I waited to meet "one of us". Then she arrived. Draped in a beautiful saree, not a hair out of place, all smiles and charm and soft spoken! And just one word came to my mind! Damn! She's a "LADY".

And just like that I rediscovered the lost are of being a lady. No I didn't grow my hair long or get out my sarees or become docile or submissive. But I did realize that to make it in a man's world I don't need to be aggressive. That a smile and a gentle request gets as much done as an order. Except, it's more pleasant. I don't need to "give it back" to anyone. People don't give me a reason to do that because they have no reason to be nasty in the first place.

I see it in Footloose too (and have done it myself)...the back slapping, the four letter words, the complete aggression and disdain. Then we wonder why men ask us, "where are the chicks?" It's because we have forgotten to be ladies! No wonder we don't find the gentlemen!

The point is, that there is no harm in being a lady and doing something charming. It goes a long way, and we get treated like ladies should (which is what all us modern women secretly want).

So here is the new improved me! I do it for no one but myself. I feel good when I have been non aggressive and been treated well. And I now realize, that to be treated like a lady, I have to be one first.


  1. nice one Varsha - aggression is mostly like - when you do a poor job at wrapping your insecurities and end up leaving sharp edges. and I think that goes for either gender. At-least I don't like to be aggressive for no reason. - Pankaj Balani

  2. Thank you Pankaj :) I agree with you! It's to hide our insecurities. And as I've learnt, nothing works like being gentle :)

  3. I think it is a stage that groups who have been powerless and dependent for a long time go through - needless aggression/sharp elbows/sharp tongues and quick to take offence. When the group gains the inner confidence of equality and of not being second class citizens, then it is time for the sharp edges and shrill voices to end. This has been true of women vs. men, colonized vs. former colonizer, blacks vs. whites, dalits vs. upper castes. At some point, the former oppressed believe that to gain power, you have to fight the powerful at their game by showing them that they have it too (whatever the powerful have). So the rise of muscular hindutva, dalit aggression and even Indians quick to take offence when the Western Press publishes something critical about us as a people or as a nation.

    When we gain the inner confidence of equality/equal opportunity then we can say that we can be women (not wannabe men) and win too - in feminine ways, not through guile and wiles but using feminine charm in a straightforward way. We can act from the certainty that men and women are equal but different. We can celebrate our differences instead of trying to out-swear, out-drink and out-fight men.