A friend of mine has been seeing someone for 5 months and the going is great. They are compatible, seem to like each other and spend all their free time together. He has met her friends as the boyfriend and she has met all of his friends. But she is known as the friend, flavour of the year, squeeze and the chick! All attempts at changing this have failed and she is wondering if she should call it off!
When you meet each others friends, beyond a point is it important to give the relationship a name. Being called the guy or the chick gets old pretty fast once you are in your 30s. Frankly, who has the time to drift one day at a time? We need to figure out "where this is headed!" We need to know if "you like us enough to acknowledge our existence" and we need to talk about "US!" And this applies to men as much!
I know enough men who have tried to talk about "us", and the women have been evasive. It seems everyone is waiting to see if something better comes along!
So is there a right time to have "the talk?" No, there isn't! The time is right when you feel it and whenever either party wants to know. It really is that simple!
If you have been with someone for an extended period of time, it is ok to ask if there is an "us"! In fact, it's only fair to ask, unless you are willing to waste years of your life! If after 6 months, the person is still not sure of wanting to be with you, perhaps it's time to take the rose tinted glasses off because by now both of you know as much about each other as you ever will. From here on, it is only going to be about comfort level!
And who knows, while waiting for the next one to come along, you may lose the one who seems right at this moment. I do believe that there are no perfect people, and the next one will be as imperfect and the relationship has to be worked on!
Another fact is that all the jokes about "bad girls go everywhere" and "men are unreliable" are untrue! We all want the same thing, so may as well ask for it! If you don't get it where you are, take the next turn in the road - who knows, your answer may be waiting there!
When you meet each others friends, beyond a point is it important to give the relationship a name. Being called the guy or the chick gets old pretty fast once you are in your 30s. Frankly, who has the time to drift one day at a time? We need to figure out "where this is headed!" We need to know if "you like us enough to acknowledge our existence" and we need to talk about "US!" And this applies to men as much!
I know enough men who have tried to talk about "us", and the women have been evasive. It seems everyone is waiting to see if something better comes along!
So is there a right time to have "the talk?" No, there isn't! The time is right when you feel it and whenever either party wants to know. It really is that simple!
If you have been with someone for an extended period of time, it is ok to ask if there is an "us"! In fact, it's only fair to ask, unless you are willing to waste years of your life! If after 6 months, the person is still not sure of wanting to be with you, perhaps it's time to take the rose tinted glasses off because by now both of you know as much about each other as you ever will. From here on, it is only going to be about comfort level!
And who knows, while waiting for the next one to come along, you may lose the one who seems right at this moment. I do believe that there are no perfect people, and the next one will be as imperfect and the relationship has to be worked on!
Another fact is that all the jokes about "bad girls go everywhere" and "men are unreliable" are untrue! We all want the same thing, so may as well ask for it! If you don't get it where you are, take the next turn in the road - who knows, your answer may be waiting there!
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