Friday, 19 April 2013


I'm just back from a 3 day holiday with, hold your breath, my mother in law, aka, murder in law, out law and many such loving things. We spent a lot of time ignoring our respective husbands and bonding with each other the way only 2 women who love the same man can! They can also compete for this man's attention and hate each other, but luckily, my out law is above it! We hung out, chatted, gossiped and were just 2 girls together! When I decided to marry Prashant, a lot of my friends commented that not only did I have a mother in law, I also had a grandmother in law! Worrying indeed, because 3 women, all equally strong was a recipe for disaster! But what happened took everyone by surprise.

I always expected to be pampered by the grand mom (it's always easy to love a cuddly granny), but my young, jeans clad, lived abroad forever mom in law was another story! But as we went along, I realized that this lady had an iron will - for all the right things! She was a feminist in the true sense. She understood me and made the effort to make me comfortable not just because her son had married me, but as another woman.

Then she discovered that I acted in The Vagina Monologues! I expected a frown, but got pride in what I do in stead! She came, she saw and conquered me...because I realized that she is a feminist in the true sense of the word. She really and truly stands up for women. Make no mistake, she doesn't scream her support from the roof top. She is gentle and soft spoken and has taught me to be a woman in the true sense.

I no longer care if anyone thinks I'm a good girl or not. I do what I want as long as my intentions are good. And I have learned to drown my ego. And all this, I have learned from my mother in law! I now realize that it is important to speak up when I think injustice is being done and to hell with the world! It doesn't matter what anyone thinks of me as long as no woman has to suffer because I kept quiet!

I've learned that being a strong woman of today is not about holding a high powered job, or wearing cool clothes or sorting everyone out, or smoking and drinking and doing as I please. It is about being truly strong and standing up for the girls...for humanity and to not accept what is wrong. I have learned that raising my voice for the wrong thing because it upsets my ego could lead to grief for a lot of people who may or may not be connected to me directly. I have also learned that being a feminist is not about being anti men, but being pro women.

They say you learn life's lessons at your mother's lap. My education continues with my other mother. And I hope some of her strength will transfer on to me, and I will remember to think before I react because strong women stand up for other women...even their daughters in law!


1 comment:

  1. My son calls me 'Jhansi Ki Rani'! My friends call me 'fearless Nadia' ! I do revel in these two names but how did I earn them in the first place.By standing up for what is right,by empathizing with my people, by squashing my ego.We blabber so much about women's rights and go around abusing men but when it really comes to 'standing' up for them,we do a 360 turn and think it is very intelligent to challenge and spew venom at some one who is from day one only trying to protect us women ! If you speak up and call a spade a spade, you are rude, offensive. But if you keep quiet and side with the others, I say we do not need you and that is another , just another word for ' get lost ', without malice to no one !I say instead of wasting so much energy on pointing others mistakes, go take a good hard look at your self. Maybe you will not recognize your self in the mirror because you certainly are not my clan, a woman !