Men have it easy - or so everyone thinks! As usual, I've been talking to a lot of the single men I know. And most (barring the pompous ones) say the same thing. It's not true. Finding someone you connect with, and who likes you back is not easy.
Take the instance of my friend who shall remain un named. On the surface, he is the kind of guy who should be rocking a lot of boats. And still, he's been searching for years. But at least he's out there, making the effort.
If you want nothing, it's fine. But if you are indeed looking for that special someone, what is stopping you from getting out of your cocoon? I'd really like to know!
As one guy said, "we're guys. We are supposed to be supermen and find everything easily. And when women don't come flocking, and we set out to look for someone, we are labeled losers." And that's how dreams of "happily ever after" are killed! So what if a few of your friends think less of you. Guess who will be laughing when you do find what you are looking for!
Most men find it tough to even start a conversation with women! When they do start, unless they are smooth talkers, things are painfully awkward the first few times. (And women would do well to remember this when they expect magic the first time round!) Add to this the fact that men want to pretend that they don't really care. That they are too busy at work or having fun! So let me ask you this - when was the last time you managed to chat up a girl at a pub? When was the last time you dazzled a girl at work with your intellectual prowess?
As for women flocking to you, your just being the right gender is no longer enough for them! They need to see the effort, the honesty of what you want and they need to see intention backed by fearlessness. If you sit at home or hang out with the guys, the girls go hang out with the other guys who are not afraid to put themselves out there! Or, they will hang out with the million of fearless girls out there who are not afraid to ask for what they want!
And trust me, there are only two women in this world who think you are superman. One is your mother, who is looking for a daughter in law for herself, and the other is your daughter who has not been born yet because you are single! You need to work towards a relationship. And the first step is to take the pressure of being superman off yourself and get out!
As for my question, "what do men want?" Please do answer it and help me!
Take the instance of my friend who shall remain un named. On the surface, he is the kind of guy who should be rocking a lot of boats. And still, he's been searching for years. But at least he's out there, making the effort.
If you want nothing, it's fine. But if you are indeed looking for that special someone, what is stopping you from getting out of your cocoon? I'd really like to know!
As one guy said, "we're guys. We are supposed to be supermen and find everything easily. And when women don't come flocking, and we set out to look for someone, we are labeled losers." And that's how dreams of "happily ever after" are killed! So what if a few of your friends think less of you. Guess who will be laughing when you do find what you are looking for!
Most men find it tough to even start a conversation with women! When they do start, unless they are smooth talkers, things are painfully awkward the first few times. (And women would do well to remember this when they expect magic the first time round!) Add to this the fact that men want to pretend that they don't really care. That they are too busy at work or having fun! So let me ask you this - when was the last time you managed to chat up a girl at a pub? When was the last time you dazzled a girl at work with your intellectual prowess?
As for women flocking to you, your just being the right gender is no longer enough for them! They need to see the effort, the honesty of what you want and they need to see intention backed by fearlessness. If you sit at home or hang out with the guys, the girls go hang out with the other guys who are not afraid to put themselves out there! Or, they will hang out with the million of fearless girls out there who are not afraid to ask for what they want!
And trust me, there are only two women in this world who think you are superman. One is your mother, who is looking for a daughter in law for herself, and the other is your daughter who has not been born yet because you are single! You need to work towards a relationship. And the first step is to take the pressure of being superman off yourself and get out!
As for my question, "what do men want?" Please do answer it and help me!
Arre & what about men like us who are on the boat & when we get out all we see is the sea. But cool one.Totally agree for the lubber boys.
ReplyDeleteI had two different windows about what men want...I could be wrong. I have been proven wrong over and over again but still... Sharing links to my posts on this, written a while ago. http://betweencupsofcoffee.blogspot.in/2012/04/what-men-wished-women-knew.html and http://betweencupsofcoffee.blogspot.in/2012/04/what-men-want.html
ReplyDeleteHaving said all that, and being in the process of learning this still, would the men please tell us what they want.